One night at Omega, I went for a stroll because there's only so much time you can spend in your tent alone before you have to get out and do something.* There was a full moon and a light breeze, and I wandered down to the lake. There, I happened upon a half-dozen people sitting amongst the picnic tables, listening to a young woman singing and playing guitar. I sat down and listened, too. Her music was original and she was good.
After a few more songs, she said, "Wow, it's been a really magical evening. How about a group hug?"**
They all got up to do a hug and I sat there, smiling at their friendship.
When they were all gathered, one guy looked over his shoulder, with a disappointed look on his face, and said to me, "Come on... please?"
It hadn't occurred to me that I was included in that invitation until he said that. I jumped up and joined in the hug.
The thing is, I tend to err on the "I'm not included" side when people throw out a "Hey, let's get some ice cream" kind of invitation to a group.*** I don't know why. I've tried to rework my assumptions over the years, to assume "Of course I'm included" but it's definitely a stretch for me.
When a general invitation is thrown out to a group of people you're among, do you presume you are included or presume you aren't included?
* Okay, there's only so much time I can spend in a tent alone. By the way, everyone heard you.
** Yeah, that's what she said. You're getting judgy, aren't you?
*** It makes orgies really awkward.