20 November 2009

The NaBloPoMo Writing Process



The afternoon before:
Open New Post screen. Stare at blank screen. Close New Post screen.

Open New Post screen. Stare at blank screen. Close New Post screen.

Well, that's it. I am officially out of things to say. NaBloPoMo has sucked me dry.

Oh, come on. You can totally do this.

I'm doubtful.

You signed up for it. You have to do it. It's a matter of pride. It's a matter of integrity. It's a matter of discipline. Do it.

How can the Black Eyed Peas have a hit song with 40 seconds of nothing but "Do it and do it and do it and do it and do it and do it and do--"?

Focus!

Open New Post screen. Stare at blank screen. Write stupid post about stupid subject. Reread stupid post and tweak it 2,344 times, rereading it after every single tweak.

Check date. Set autopost date and time. Curse the Blogger time offset. Curse my math skills. Re-check date. Re-check autopost date and time.

Trust the autopost. Trust the autopost. Trust the autopost.

Hit the autopost button and seize up, anticipating that the post has flung itself into the blogosphere. Breathe a sigh of relief when it comes up as "scheduled."

Open the post and reread it. Tweak it and reread it 31 more times.

Check autopost date and time again.

Trust the autopost. Trust the autopost. Trust the autopost.

Hit the autopost button and seize up. Breathe a sigh of relief when it, again, comes up as "scheduled."

Force self to go home without the computer.

The evening before:
Dammit! I should have brought the computer home. Wonder if I can rewrite the entire post from my phone? Or maybe the DSi, since it has a larger screen. Of course, I'd have to type each letter with the stylus--

Stop it.


It's a crappy post.


They can't all be golden. It still counts.


The morning of:
Check via phone that the post actually has posted at the appropriate time. Wonder why I am humming "I Gotta Feeling." Reread post. Notice typo that was not visible during any of the thousands of previous readings. Curse. Consider the post as a whole.

It's not as bad as I remembered. It's not *good* but I've done worse.

2 minutes after posting:

No one's commenting. Why isn't anyone commenting? Talk to me, people!

It hasn't even hit the reader yet.

Oh.


20 minutes after posting:
Okay, now it's hit the reader. Nobody's commenting. God, this is a sucky post. People are embarrassed for me, I can feel it.


Shut up.


*You* shut up.


Calm down. They'll comment.


They won't. It totally sucks.


True, but they'll still comment.


They won't.


*sighhhh*


When the first comment comes in:

YAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not gammoned! This is great! Haha, a witty comment!

One minute later:

So, what? That's it? One comment?!

Shut up!


*You* shut up!

26 comments:

Gilahi said...

Just thought I'd drop this in here in case nobody else comments.

Shannon said...

Comment comment comment comment!

Kate said...

Hehe. I always have something to say. Even if it's nothing at all. So that's what I post. THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOU HERE. GO AWAY. People comment. It's hilarious.

Bowie Mike said...

Maybe you need to make up an inspirational song to keep you going on this NaBloPoMo thing. I did that for my daughter when she was learning to ride a bike:

You've got to keep peddling. You've got to keep peddling. Peddling. Peddling. You've got to keep peddling.

It's sort of like the Black Eyed Peas lyrics.

My November has been the opposite:

Hmmm. I wonder if anyone will come back and read my blog if I don't post for six days? Maybe if I comment on a few sites, people will still remembe me.

Cyndy said...

Twenty down, ten to go. So when November's over, you'll be having a bunch of people out there asking "What, no post from lacochran today?"

Little Ms Blogger said...

This is why I didn't do NaNo blog. I did it once before and got to the point of almost posting my shopping list.

LiLu said...

YUP.

Except I do that without the imposed NaBloPoMo...

Sigh.

The Bug said...

But even when you have nothing to say you're hilarious - I always smile to see a new post from LA Cochran.

Mike said...

Writers block? Go to friends blog. Click on one of their friends. Click on one of THEIR friends. OK, now your far enough away from your reality. Start stealing ideas. Or even whole posts. Justify by telling youself nablopomo made me do it.

Liebchen said...

I'm totally humming "I Gotta Feeling" now, too. I started right after the first "do it."

Hannah said...

We're all insecure and overly critical of our own words. But you're a terrific writer so stop worrying!

P.S. BEP also managed to have a hit single with "lyrics" like these:
"I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff
Milky, milky cocoa
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky right"

Clearly something is very wrong with the world today.

Sean said...

BEP gets a pass for the "do it do it do it" lyrics since they were able to incorporate both Mazel Tov and L'Chaim into a popular song.

Reader is the worst. There are times when I post something and it doesn't appear on reader for at least an hour or two. I always wonder if I wrote or offended Google.

Drama Queen said...

...that tonight's gonna' be a good night....

....that tonight's gonna be a good night....

...that tonight's gonna be a good, good night....

Great.

Song stuck in my head.

Your fault.

:)

Alex said...

I honestly don't understand the appeal of something like NaBloPoMo. Unless one is an aspiring writer and welcomes the discipline of being forced to write daily.

tabithablogs said...

Haha -- as a fellow NaBloPoMo participant, I can soooo relate to this one.

Dixie said...

I have never been happier that I don't listen to the radio, as I do not know "I Gotta Feeling" and can therefore not get it stuck in my head.

Maya said...

This had me rolling!

Tina said...

This is still better than the long maningless posts I compose in my mind and then never bother to post. You are my hero.

spleeness said...

That you can write something so funny and appealing about NOT writing is a testament to what a great writer you are. LMAO. I'm totally tweeting this!

Barbara said...

This happens to me daily. I always thank God for that first brave soul to comment and wonder what's up with the 75 people who looked at yesterday's post and said nothing. I then wonder whatever motivates the 30 returning readers who obviously are coming back for more of the same but are unwilling to react. Maybe I'm just a blabbermouth, but more often than not I have something to say when I bother to read someone's post.

Telling self: It's not supposed to be about comments. Says who?

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

I have no comment.

P.S. *said in my best whiny-I'm-a-martyr-boo hoo-me voice possible* At least you have 20 comments. I only have two. Hmph.

Reya Mellicker said...

You are so funny!

I never tweak my posts, never even re-read them. You're good!!

lacochran said...

Gilahi: A pity comment?! ...I'll take it.

Shannon: Witty response witty response witty response witty response!

Kate: People are wonderful. :) (And hilarious.)

Bowie Mike: *singing* Keep blogging, keep blogging, just post something, keep blogging...

Cyndy: Oh, to have such a following... sigh.

Little Ms Blogger: You could have warned me.

LiLu: :) Next time sign up and get credit for the crazy.

The Bug: Aw, thanks. :)

Mike: I would have but you've just blown my cover.

Liebchen: It *is* catchy.

Hannah: Don't even get me started on the lovely lady lumps.

Sean: Can one offend Google? I had no idea it was so sensitive.

Drama Queen: heeheehee.

Alex: A little discipline can be a good thing.

tabithablogs: You're doing great! Thanks for stopping by.

Dixie: It's been used on TV, too, so don't be so sure you don't know it. And, thanks for stopping by.

Maya: I'm glad. :)

Tina: Aren't you sweet! Type out those posts in your head... you might be surprised at what you get.

spleeness: Well, aren't you sweet! Thanks!

Barbara: Says who, indeed! For me, it's all about the connection and the interaction.

J.M.Tewkesbury: Ha! Well played, my friend. Maybe you're writing is too smart for your audience?

Reya Mellicker: You must be very present when you write them because they're marvelous.

Mac and Cheese said...

You've got more thought process going on than me. At least there's that.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Thank you. :-) I have to make some use of all those years growing up in a staunchly conservative religious sect, so occasionally I do the whiny, martyr thing. As for smart writing--smart ass, yes. Smart smart? Not so much.

restaurant refugee said...

I know this feeling all to well. When I signed up for NaBloPoMo, I didn't tell anyone. I didn't put up a Sticker. I was convinced, and petrified by the notion that I would exhaust my supply of ideas, words, well turned phrases for any given month... and maybe I have but I'm still going.

And so are you, and you're only getting stronger... and funnier along the way.