[Fake but clever.]
I had a friend who, when asked if a bracelet was real, replied "Of course, it's real." Later she said to me "Can you believe she had the nerve to ask me if my bracelet was real? It's not real gold but it is real." When I looked at her, surprised, she said, "Well, it's not a figment of her imagination! And, it's none of her business if it's real gold or not."
I have jewelry with real gems. I also have jewelry that's fake. I have no trouble telling people when I'm wearing the fake stuff. In fact, if they gush about how beautiful it is, I tend to volunteer, "Thanks. It's a pretty good fake, don't you think?"
Is it appropriate to ask if something is real? Would you share if it was or it wasn't?
24 November 2009
"Tell me it's the real thing" --Bo Bice
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17 comments:
I don't know, would you ask a woman if her boobs were fake? Probably not. Discrete leering and compliments are fine, questions of authenticity might not be appropriate.
I don't see why your friend was offended. It's a fairly benign question. (Well unless someone asks you if you're boobs are real, then that's crossing a line and rude)
I don't wear fake jewelry, because I'm allergic to it! I get horrible rashes from nickel and that tends to be in a lot of fake stuff.
My policy is Don't Ask, Do Tell. But then again, I only have one piece of jewelry.
Love the fake Facebook.
I'll be the first to offer up the truth (it's costume jewelry!) if someone compliments any of my great rings.
That said, I think it is crazy rude to ask if jewelry is real, if someone's lost weight, if that's your real ahir color, and anyone's age.
I'm so poor that "real" isn't really in my vocabulary. "Pretty" is, but not "real." Except my wedding rings & some diamond jewelry my hubby got me early in our marriage (before he figured out that I prefer funky). I don't ever think to ask if something is real.
However, on the hair & weight thing - in my circle we're ALWAYS coloring & dieting & would consider it rude if someone didn't notice a change (unless it's a bad change).
Sounds like should all follow the lead of The Emperor, regarding his new clothes. Of course it's real!
Also along those lines, sage advice from Bill Murray in Ghostbusters: "When someone asks you if you're a god, YOU SAY YES!"
FoggyDew beat me to my comment.
I've been asked if jewelry was real or not and it doesn't usually bother me. Unless it's in a condescending tone, which, sadly, I've gotten.
Why does it matter?
I say who cares. Someone whose asking either is jealous or is trying to make themselves feel superior. One or the other. I don't play those games.
Them - Is it real?
You - What do you mean?
Them - You know what I mean.
You - No I don't.
BTW, if I ever ask you if your jewerly is real, you have permission to shot me because of the state I'll have deteriorated too. Because I really really really don't care.
About half the time I think the askers of the question don't even realize that they are potentially being rude. Everyone has different standards regarding what questions are appropriate to ask so it's usually better to play it safe and not ask.
I'm trying to think of scenarios where it would be appropriate to ask if something is real or not. Fur coats, perhaps. Maybe a deer head prepared by a taxidermist hanging from a wall.
I can only speak for myself, and whether or not I would ask someone if something was real would depend on our relationship. Would I ask a stranger if her boobs were real? Probably not? Would my BFF if her diamonds were real? Absolutely.
Oh! I forgot to mention that I have no problem telling someone whether something of mine is real or not. I have nothing to hide.
I have both real and fake jewelry (all real body parts though) and I'll answer the question honestly but I do think its a tacky question that shows something unpleasant about the asker.
I get more worked up about comments that relate to my son - ie didn't I want to have a "real" child of "my own". That will get you some REAL claws and fangs let me tell you.
In some ways I agree with your friend in that it doesn't matter if it's real or fake. Either you think it's pretty, or you don't! Who cares what it's actually made of?
And, I think it's funny that she answered the woman's question literally. If the woman wanted to know if it was real gold, then she should have asked that!
Foggy Dew: Point taken.
Hannah: Thanks for weighing in.
Bowie Mike: Is the one piece real? (Hey, that's your policy not mine.)
The Maiden Metallurgist: Interesting. I'd answer any of those. I always think it's flattering when someone asks if I've lost weight. Now, if they ask if I've gained weight or if I might be pregnant...
The Bug: Exactly. Shows you're paying attention.
Jamie: Well put. Is Bill doing any movies these days? I miss him.
Bilbo: He's clever, he is.
Liebchen: It only matters to those it matters to, I suppose. It certainly shouldn't matter.
Kate: Okay.
Mike: Playing dumb has always been your strong suit.
Cyndy: Sounds conservatively wise.
Sean: I try to maintain a "no dead things on the wall" policy for restaurant selection but I bend that policy if the food is exceptional.
Kate: So, it's okay if you're already close and you're an open book. Got it.
Tina: Well deserved claws and fangs for a completely ridiculous and offensive question.
Maya: That was certainly her philosophy.
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