21 October 2008

"...that funky s%it going down in the city" --Steve Miller Band

I was on the metro Saturday and spotted this ad:


Take a quick look. Cute child. Stack of pancakes. What did you think of?

If you said "fertilizer", ding! ding! ding!, you win the prize. Because, when you said "life is full of s%it", you were practically voicing this company's motto:


I can just imagine the meeting that went on to come up with this ad campaign.

C. B.: People have a negative view of fertilizer. We need them to connect it with something more positive.

Johnson: More positive than rotting manure?

C. B. : Seriously, Johnson.

Johnson: Okay... How about apple pie?

C. B.: Been done to death. Besides the latest numbers say blueberry is the new apple. Come on people, think! How about you, Flerdner?

Flerdner: Hm, positive... positive... what makes people happy...

Johnson: Vodka?

C. B. : *glowers at Johnson*

Flerdner: ...Pancakes make me happy. Pancakes make everybody happy!

C. B.: Keep going...

Johnson: I don't know... all that messy maple syrup...

Flerdner: Okay, we'll put a very neat, adorable child in front of a hardly syruped stack of pancakes. Fertilizer equals neat adorable children with pancakes!

C. B.: Can we tie in blueberries?

Flerdner: I don't see why not! We'll put a few on top!

C. B.: By jove, you've got it!

Johnson: So, wait, you're British now?

So, in conclusion... I wasn't a big fertilizer fan before this but now... I don't know what's changed... I can't put my finger on it... but there's something so gosh, darn wholesome and special about fertilizer... I just can't get enough of it.

Fertilizer. For when you really need to spread it around.

13 comments:

Bilbo said...

Quick, call the Republican and Democratic National Committees!!

Gilahi said...

Are you sure those are blueberries?

Narm said...

Flerdner? Well I know what I am naming my first kid now. Hopefully he likes pancakes.

Doug said...

hmmmm lemme think here...

Eat shit - over-fertilize!

Fertilizer - for those with a shitty appetite

Save a tree, shit in a park.

What do you get when a hurricane hits a recently fertlized field? A shit storm!

Is it just me or does that kid look like it has down syndrome?

Kate said...

So, when I lived in Iowa, I always knew what season it was - whether there were political ads or fertilizer and pesticide ads on tv. This one takes the cake. Or pancake, as it may be.

fiona said...

Flour-cereal grains-fertilizer
Ok now I get it.
Poor kid, what were the parents thinking? Do they think they are going to have fun with it when she's a teen?
-We must show you a photo of @#$ when she did the shit ad!
Poor wee thing thinking she was doing a pancake photo shoot...shit

Mike said...

With young ad exec's there's no telling what 'pancakes' they were thinking about. Probably definition 4. But I wouldn't put it past them that it was 1.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pancakes

GreenCanary said...

Dang, now I want pancakes.

Herb of DC said...

Humph! Everyone knows that pomegranates are the new apple!

Matt said...

little kids and pancakes.

You can use them to sell anything.

Put them together and it could be downright dangerous.

Sean said...

I actually had pancakes for dinner tonight. Johnson was not invited!

lacochran said...

Bilbo: I don't think they need any help in this area.

Gilahi: Good point. I'm not sure of anything.

Narm: Flerdner Nomina? There's a kid that'll get beat up every day.

Doug: I think you have a future in this business.

Kate: Season by ad? Makes sense.

Fiona: Parents can definitely be cruel.

Mike: Leave it to you to find even more disturbing associations.

GreenCanary: Everybody likes them!

Herb of DC: You're way ahead of the curve. I just spent $2 on my one and only pomegranate this year.

Matt: Alert the conspiracy hounds.

Sean: Probably for the best. He'd want to put vodka on them.

Judith HeartSong said...

oh and can we have some MORE ads on the metro? Getting off at Rockville last night there is one at the foot of the escalator....

If you'll excuse me, I have this urge to go buy fertilizer....