03 October 2008

Salt o' the Earth

[Me (front), with a salt lick in a previous life. A) How adorable am I?; B) Those Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever ticks tickle; and C) Notice how I do not mention to my sister that I have found the salt lick. Mineminemine. ]

From big ol' kosher salt-embedded pretzels to finely ground salt-dust on popcorn, I love me some salt. I am blessed with low blood pressure so this is not a problem.* In fact, I have rationalized that salt is really good for me. If I get up in the morning and feel a little lightheaded? Salt! Must have salt!!

Anything with salt will do. Chinese leftovers. Pasta. Celery. Just as long as it's got a good salty edge to it. I've been known to dump salt from the shaker into my palm and lick it.**

In college, I had a boyfriend who would carry those little salt packets, like the ones you see at fast food places, in his shirt pocket at all times. Not for me, mind you, but for him. Things were never salty enough for him. Now, I wonder if I liked him because he had salty kisses.

*Said in an anchorman voice* In other salt-related memories...

When I was little we had a beagle that would lick my mother's feet for hours, if allowed.*** Only my mother's. We assumed it was the saltiness, although we didn't actually lick her feet to check, but I guess the dog could have had other, um, issues.

Remember when all bars served either peanuts or popcorn? I miss those days.****

One of my favorite treats is a salty, chocolate chip oatmeal cookie. I buy them and devour them and stand in awe of what has just happened because they are a sweet, salty, chewy sweepstakes prize from the angels.

I've bought these cookies but I've never tried to make them. This week, I wrote Lemmonex and asked her for a recipe for this manna. She sent me a recipe that she hasn't tried but she assures me comes on good authority. So, at some point, if I am not blogging, it is because I am in a heap on the kitchen floor in a salt/chocolate-chip/oatmeal-cookie coma.

And loving it.

PS In the land of global interconnectedness, after I completed this post I saw this dcblogs link.

PPS It was too after. Fine. Believe whatever you want. Yeah, 'cause if I was gonna lie about something, that's what it would be.

* I once had a technician check my (low) pressure and say to me "You are still with us, right?" Yeah, that's what you want to hear.

** Yeah, like you never did anything weird involving salty substances, palms and licking.

*** Yeah, like you never did anything weird involving salty substances, feet and licking.

**** Yes, I've seen the 20/20 exposes about the incredible levels of bacteria on those communal bar bowls. And your point would be? We're talking free, salty bar snacks here. That which does not kill me makes me happy.*****

***** True confession *leans in* : I once ate popcorn out of a tub in a movie theater that somebody from the earlier show had left. I didn't die.


Reya Mellicker said...

Actually you're cuter in this life, though the deer is awfully adorable.

My mother loved salt. She salted her watermelon, tomatoes, even carrots. She poured salt in her beer. I didn't get it.

Salt = flavor, but too much makes me feel like I'm being mummified. I do LOVE salty oat cookies.

Lemmonex said...

She is the best...I promise you your dreams of salty cookies will all be met.

charlotteharris said...

salt bagel, toasted, with salty cream cheese. mmmmmm...

rs27 said...

I just pur the salt shaker in my mouth.

Easier this way.

Herb of DC said...

My dog Lucy licks my feet under the sheets. Is this not normal? She at least puts out her cigarette before starting.

lacochran said...

Reya: I'll save you some cookies! :)

Lemmonex: If only fulfilling all my dreams were so easy. :) Thanks!

CharlotteHarris: Mmmm, indeed! :)

Rs27: That's why you're making the big bucks and others copy you. You maverick. :)

Herb of DC: LOL! She sounds very considerate. :)

Judith HeartSong said...

when I was little in Northern Pennsylvania, I would go out and find the salt licks and... well... lick them. My mother would die of the horror if she knew.

Mike said...

"* I once had a technician check my (low) pressure and say to me "You are still with us, right?" Yeah, that's what you want to hear."

Hey, me too. They look at you and go, "Do feel alright?"

LivitLuvit said...

I ADORE salt. I will take french fries over ANY amount or variety of dessert things, any day. I swear, if it was accepted for humans to have salt licks, I totally would. Must run in the family, because my sister keeps a salt shaker wedged in the passenger side door of her car for salt emergencies. I was mad I didn't think of it first.

lacochran said...

JudithHeartsong: For real? Maybe we knew each other in a previous life.

Mike: Sometimes low blood pressure will mean you don't hear all the words.

Livitluvit: Another kindred salt fiend. Viva la revolucion!