24 July 2008

"I feel the need. The need for speed." -- Maverick

Over time, I've noticed that in men and in cars, I've come to require the same list of non-negotiable things (in no particular order):

  • Not girly.
  • Not all flash.
  • Designed with intelligence.
  • Tight turning radius.
  • Solid.
  • Agile and responsive.
  • Able to go from 0 to 60 (or 70 or 80) or 60 to 0 in the blink of an eye.
  • Doesn't get all shaky and fall apart if I push the envelope.
  • Thrilling.
  • Dependably consistent.
  • Not jerky.
Notice how I didn't mention cup holders? I'm all kinds of classy like that.

Not too much to ask, now is it? It took me a long time to get clear on that but I am.

So, yeah, non-negotiable. You say I'm spoiled. I say I'm clear on objectives. Tomato, tomahto.

Wait, did somebody just call me a tomato? I hate it when I get objectified like that.


Gilahi said...

How do you feel about bucket seats?

Bilbo said...

Well, heck, I was doing fine until you got to the part about "not jerky." I've got a beef with that. So to speak.

Tina said...

You need to add something about holding its value over time and you have the perfect man um car.

LivitLuvit said...

Holds its own in a crash...

rs27 said...

What about big tires.

All men have to have that..

By tires I mean fingernails

What? I don't know.

GreenCanary said...

I like the 60 to 0 in a blink of an eye. I desperately need that... for when I'm about to run into boulders.

Kate said...

This is a good, good post! I'm supposed to be coming up with my list of "ideals" in a relationship. Phht. I've never had one really, so I struggle to even start. So far I have tall, employed and non-alcoholic. I'm all kinds of picky.

lacochran said...

Gilahi: I'm trying to imagine a bucket seat on a man. Doesn't sound like a good look.

Bilbo: Never was a Slim Jim fan. So to speak.

Tina: Good addition!

Livitluvit: That would be handy, yes.

rs27: It's not the size of the tires but the depth of the tread. What? I don't know.

Greencanary: We all need it!

Kate: Thanks! Tall, employed and non-alcoholic doesn't actually sound all that picky to me. Just an excellent start!