16 July 2008

"Squirrelly Lovin' Happened So Fast"--Grease, the squirrel edition

Judith Heartsong says "The squirrels are fat and sassy this summer..."

Sassy. That's one word for it.

It seems every time I look out the window there are squirrels buying each other Cosmos. They're teaching each other how to shoot a combo. There's a lot of squirrel activity. A lot. If you get my drift.

Too subtle?

I'm not talking about all the nest building and all the tiny Ikea bookshelves they're hauling up to those nests. Although, of course, that's happening, too.

All I can think is that due to the increased rain there is increased food for them and they are able to kick back and enjoy all of life's pleasures a bit more.

Either that, or they are starting the squirrel revolution and building their armies! Oh, sure, they look cute...

Which reminds me: My cousin says she knew someone in college that trained a squirrel to ask for ice cream by doing a particular gesture. I say the squirrel trained the person in college to give him ice cream. Brains the size of walnuts stupid. Unless you are in college.

Then, again, why the heck would they want to take over our world? They have everything they could ever want. Plus an Ikea Allen wrench or two to drop on our heads. Weeeee!


Narm said...

I wish I could train someone to give me ice cream whenever I wanted. Why can't I be more like squirrels???

Lynne said...

I highly recommend you read:
A Really Super Book About Squirrels by Graham Taylor and Graham Roumieu

Gilahi said...

Are any of them wearing little pilot goggles and hanging around with mooses?

So the next time somebody calls me "squirrely", it's not necessarily a bad thing? Sounds pretty sweet to me.

Kristen said...

I'm having a problem with woodchucks, myself.

Bilbo said...

You should move to my neighborhood. We have lots of squirrels, but they are neurotic and well-behaved because we also have a very large and well-fed fox that keeps them lively. As for animals that make gestures, a friend of my father's years ago had a little spider monkey that would stand up and raise his right fist high when he wanted something. One night during a card game, they kept giving him little cups of beer...each time he stood up and raised his little fist, he got another little cup. This went on until he shakily stood up, raised his fist, and fell over backwards, totally stewed. Cute. He was a bastard the next day, though.

Lemmonex said...

I will never forget the first time I saw one of those black squirrels...I thought it was a mutant rat.

lacochran's evil twin said...

Narm: Squirrels rock!

Lynne: Is this their revolutionary manifesto?

Gilahi: I'll bet you're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, too.

Kristin: Woodchuck love. Wasn't that a Captain & Tenille hit?

Bilbo: Monkey hangovers are hell! It's hardly worth flinging feces!

Lemmonex: They were all over Montgomery County when I lived there. Strange but chic.

Reya Mellicker said...

"Scram, you little rodent!" is my favorite way to greet the thug squirrels of Capitol Hill. They know exactly how to wrap the tourists around their tiny fingers - or toes? Whatever. I am NOT going to hand over a little snack, no way. Forget it.

I know they're supposedly cute, though not to me.

Except I love their nests. They act so - well - squirrely that it seems impossible to believe they could ever focus on anything, but their nests are masterfully engineered.

Made me laugh out loud to think of them and their tiny Ikea bookshelves.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

congrats for makling the express this morning - u rock!

Gilahi said...

Hey! You ARE in the Express! Congrats.

lacochran's evil twin said...

Reya: The Army Corps of Engineers should find a way to make use of their building skills. :)

Capitol Hill 20210: Oh my goodness! Thanks for cluing me in!!

Gilahi: Freaky! Thanks!

Tina said...

The Squirrels where I live have watched that GEICO commercial one too many times. Its dangerous to drive around here.

lacochran's evil twin said...

Tina: Love it! :)

GreenCanary said...

I was mugged by a gang of squirrels outside the Museum of Natural History. They took everything I had, including my trail mix.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Is that a squirrel or a ground hog? It looks like a ground hog to me.

And why do I care? Ground hog. Squirrel. They're both rodents. Obviously my brain cells aren't getting enough exercise these days.

lacochran's evil twin said...

Green: I thought birds and squirrels coexisted peacefully. Is this like in West Side Story?

J.M.: Could be. We need little brain wheels to run around on and maybe a series of tubes to explore and pellets. I'm all about the pellets.