29 June 2008

*sniffs armpit*, *breathes into palm and sniffs*

You ever miss a step in your routine?

I do a number of grooming steps every day (you're welcome, world), in a certain order, including shaving my legs.

At least, I think I do.

Last Tuesday morning, I was in a meeting and I crossed my legs only to find stubble! I had missed shaving one of my calves (Is it calves? Or calfs? You know what I mean: I missed shaving a young bovine and how often do you get that kind of opportunity?)

Since I shave every day, nobody was going to notice that tiny bit of stubble and point and shout "Hey, nice head of hair on those legs!" On the other hand, I noticed it all flippin' day. One smooth leg, one stubbly leg. It was like when you bite the inside of your mouth and then your tongue develops Alzheimer's and keeps going back to that spot as if repeating, "Hey, what's this?? Oh, yeah! You bit the inside of your mouth! Man, that sucks... ...Hey, what's this??"

So now I'm paranoid. I wind up shaving my legs and then checking that I shaved my legs and then checking again as if they're suddenly not going to be shaved after I just checked two minutes ago.

It's not like I've got 426 steps to my daily ablutions. How did this happen? And if I missed that, do I sometimes forget more important things? Like brushing my teeth or applying deodorant? Is it impending senility, for real?



charlotteharris said...

I keep an entire toiletry kit in my desk just for this. Deodorant, lotion, shampoo, conditioner, soap, even a razor!

Gilahi said...

I think this is the main reason that we y-chromosome types aren't expected to shave much of anything except our faces (and some of us don't even do that). We can remember all the words to the "Gilligan's Island" theme song, but we can't remember to put the lid back on the toothpaste tube, much less shave both legs and pits every day.

rs27 said...

"deodorant is overrated"

-French people.

Bilbo said...

I've lived overseas long enough to not care too much about whether a lady's legs (or armpits) are shaved or not. Now, if she smells like a fire on a garbage scow, that's another thing. Don't worry about the leg. In any case, your razors will last much longer if you just shave alternate legs on alternate days...you'll save money, and you'll be able to quickly ID anyone who looks closely enough to notice as a perv, anyhow. Think positive!

lacochran's evil twin said...

charlotteharris: You shave in the office? Please tell me you have access to a shower and you're not propping your leg up on the sink and trying to keep the electronic eye activated to keep the water flowing.

Gilahi: Metrosexuality is on the rise. Soon everybody will be shaving and tapering and waxing and god knows what.

rs27: Wouldn't that be "déodorant est surestimée", followed by "Je crache sur votre vile anglais"?

Bilbo: I can't remember to shave parts now. If I have to keep track of an alternating schedule, I'm gonna lose it for sure.

*Jotting notes* "Fire on a garbage scow smell = Bad."

GreenCanary said...

I confess: when I come back from a trip and fail to IMMEDIATELY unpack my backs and put my toiletries back where they belong in the bathroom, I forget to brush my teeth in the morning. This happens more often than I care to admit.

Narm said...

One time I lathered my face up with shaving cream and then got in the shower. All of a sudden I had shaving cream running all over - yeah I forgot to actually do the SHAVING part.

How embarrassing.

lacochran said...

Green & narm: Glad I'm not the only one! :)

j.m. tewkesbury said...

Shave? You shave your legs?! Hm. Maybe I should try that...

Kidding. Although, when you work from home, you sometimes let stuff like this slip. For days at a time.