16 June 2008
Most work days, I pack my lunch in my cool-o insulated lunch bag thing. It's much cheaper to pack lunch than buy it and it's much easier on the waistline than waiting until you're famished and eating the first thing you see in the not so fab but extra-greasy cafeteria.
And the cafeteria is always the same experience, confusingly written in the third person:
Lacochran goes to the cafeteria, looks around. Spots the cold, greasy, congealed, spongy pizza slices that have NEVER, EVER tasted good. Thinks: That looks great! Avoids making eye contact with the cashier who is shaking her head like the person in the thriller who's desperately trying to signal the other person in the thriller that they're talking to the murderer.
Our heroine buys the pizza slice. Dives into it immediately. Can't understand why it doesn't taste as good as it looks in her hunger-addled hallucinations. Gets queasy halfway through and EATS IT ANYWAY. Thinks: Hm, still hungry. Wonder what the cafeteria has for me?
I swear, our cafeteria is the only place that can make pizza taste bad.
So I pack my lunch most days. On the one hand, there aren't a lot of surprises. On the other, since I packed it, my lunch is filled with totally awesome stuff!
So, usually, I start eating my lunch on the way in to work (~8:30) because who can resist that awesomeness? And, besides, if I'm chewing on something, I'm not shouting obscenities at the car in front of me. ('Cause it's rude to talk with your mouth full.) Hey, I do my part for world peace. Stick to vehement gesticulation, that's my motto.
Yeah, lunch rarely makes it to official "lunch time" because it's right there! So, come 12, 1, 2-ish, while others on the hall are smelling up the hall with their fancy brought-in lunches, I'm looking forlornly at my empty cool-o bag of former awesomeness. Oh, sure, I ate all that awesomeness but now it's just a distant memory.
Once, I had an office mate who was different than me. Very different. If there were free donuts that someone had offered up, we'd both get a chocolate topped donut (the BEST EVER!!) and bring them back to our desks. I'd then inhale mine. She'd park hers on a napkin for, like, hours. What was THAT??