10 June 2008

Most Likely to Embarrass Herself in an Alumni Newsletter



It's my fault. I told the pathetic telemarketing dweeb that I didn't want to be pitched over the phone and that he could send me something in the mail.

Is there anything more self-absorbed, as in of the people, by the people, for the people--and for no one else, than an alumni newsletter? It features pages and pages of entries like this:

"Binky Greensnod, MBA '92, was elected part-time, co-treasurer of the Chantilly, VA, chapter of Fliners, Nippal, and Sperkus. Binky looks forward to many rewarding years with the association."

Who cares?!

The fact that Binky felt it was important to submit this bit of braggadocio to the alumni association's newsletter only speaks to the sadness that is Binky Greensnod and her ilk.

Binky, if you're out there, I'm begging you: Get help now!

10 comments:

Kristin said...

Ah, that makes me look forward to my reunion. I can see the Binkys of the world and hear ALL about the co-treasury.

Bilbo said...

"Fliners, Nippal, and Sperkus"? Reminds me of the famous Marx Brothers legal firm of Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga, Hungadunga, and Smith. I don't read alumni newsletters anyhow. I did go to my 30th high school reunion back in 1999, and was gratified to see that all the old jocks looked like dissipated losers.

Sudiegirl said...

I have been avoiding my high school reunions but I might go to the 25th just to see who got fat. I'm one of 'em.

lacochran said...

Kristin, Bilbo, Sudiegirl: At some point, you go to a reunion and it's about who got rich and who got fat. A few years pass and it's about who still has their teeth and hair.

Arjewtino said...

"Fliners, Nippal, and Sperkus" sound like the secret names of the Three Blind Mice.

lacochran said...

Arjewtino: Shh!!! Secret!

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

I round file my alumni magazine. Sorry. Wait. Amend that. I recycle my alumni magazine.

As for high school reunions, I have yet to go to one of those. But I love filling out those surveys they send asking what you've been doing, how many spouses you've had, how you met, how many children you have, etc. I lie hilariously on mine. It's the only fun I have with anything high school related!

lacochran said...

J.M.: You ARE creative! Care to share some of the outrageous lies?

j.m. tewkesbury said...

Oh, Lord, my memory isn't that great. The last one I filled out was 10 or 15 years ago, but I know I have a copy around here somewhere. I'll see if I can find it. I just remember my best friend from HS and I filling them out together and LOAO while we were doing it. I seem to recall that at one point we were laughing so hard, we had tears streaming down our faces. We went to HS in lily-white, ultra-conservative Utah. We were going for shock value, too. We both hated HS and the many pretentious pricks and snobs in our class.

Of course, it's highly possible someone in our class thought Kris and I were snobs, too.

lacochran said...

Funny how that works sometimes... if you snub the snobs does that make you more of a snob? Hm. My brain hurts.