This is a portion of a verbatim e-mail I received at work today. I kid you not.
[organization name] is sponsoring a "Poem & Picture" Bridal Shower for Ms. [bride name]. Attending participants are asked to write/submit a poem to the bride and the bride will have to identify which guest submitted the poem. Upon completion, a picture will be taken of the bride and guest who submitted the poem.
As if bridal showers aren't lame enough we have this new level of gooey narcissism.
Pressuring people who only associate with the bride-to-be because they have to work with her into buying this wretched woman a gift and celebrating her special day--even though she won't be inviting 95% of them to her 300 person wedding--isn't enough.
I know this particular bride enough to know that she is one of the shallowest people I will ever meet. Somehow it does not surprise me that she wants people to write poems about her. Perhaps she'd like her coworkers to create a path of rose petals for her to walk on, too?
Roses are red
Showers are sappy
Your overwhelming self-involvement
Is really crappy
I'm sort of stuck after that. Anybody want to add the second verse?