15 June 2008

The Day They Covered Bed Side Manner, She Ditched and Went to the IHOP


Wednesday, I go to a lab to have blood drawn. Usually, this is no big deal as my veins are delightfully surfacey.* This must be "Get a Free Mojito with every lab test" Wednesday because the place is packed. I wait for an hour along with a bunch of adults and one very kvetchy toddler.

Obligatory aside: I don't understand parents that bring very young children into stressful and/or boring situations and don't think to bring a toy or book or something for the child to do. Helpful note to parents: If your child is whining, shrieking and crying and under two years old, saying "don't do that" is probably not going to stop your child from doing that.

Eventually, thankfully, I get called back.

The technician: How are you today?

Me: (I'm thinking: "Late for work" but there's no point in antagonizing the woman with the needle so I say...) Fine. How are you?

Technician: I have the dropsies today! *chuckle*

There are lots of things you don't want to hear from the person about to stab you with a needle. Right up there is "I have the dropsies today!" Even if it's true, this is not the kind of information the patient wants to be let in on.

She manages to get the blood but it is apparently touch and go there for a while. She's put the needle in and...

Technician: Hm, what's with this thing?

Me, averting my eyes: Having trouble?

Technician: For some reason... it doesn't seem to want to... hm...

Me: Is there something you need me to do?

Technician: No, no! You're fine. It's just...

Me: ...

Technician: ...

Me: Not working?

Technician: There it goes!!

Me: Okay.

Technician: It didn't want to go. But we got it.

Me: Okay, um, thanks.

Note to technicians: You do not need to share every thought that pops into your head. In fact, please don't.

* Note to self: Should I submit this fact to my alumni newsletter?

12 comments:

Kristin said...

I once had a doctor tell me that he was having a very bad day as he accidentally froze/ripped off a section of my thigh. He was having a bad day?!

Hope it's all good.

lacochran said...

Yeesh! Just a little self-involved, was he? Hope the part he froze/ripped off regenerated.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

She would have hated my veins, mine are usually on vacation when its time to draw blood, it sucks and they think well wait - we will get the vein in your hand - yeah I don't think so.

rs27 said...

One of my doctor's told me that he was having a hard time with his contacts right before me smacked me in the ankle.

He was trying to hit my knee.

It was a long day.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

A couple of months ago, I had the flu. I finally decided to see the doctor because it was progressing toward bronchitis. When I tell her what I have, she says, "Don't breath on me! You people made me sick. I ended up with this stuff and in the ER with a collapsed lung!"

Well, excuse me. And hello?! You're a doctor. By definition, you choose to be around sick people. If you don't want that little caveat in your job, go work for a pharma company or in a research lab. Sheesh.

As for the tech telling you s/he had the dropsies? I'd have requested a new tech. Like hell I'm gonna let someone who's had the runs stick a needle in my arm! I don't care how many times s/he's washed, that's just information I don't need! Ugh, why do people think they actually have to tell us how they are?

Bilbo said...

The first time I went to a lab to have blood drawn, I didn't mind a bit...until I discovered that having blood drawn didn't involve charcol pencil on paper...

lacochran said...

C H 20210: Ah, shy veins. That sucks. My mom has that. So drawing blood before an operation is more stressful than the operation.

rs27: Maybe we should take these comments as a sign to reschedule these things? But then what would we blog about? Sacrifices must be made, Gimpy.

J.M.: Here, here! To paraphrase Super Chicken: She knew the job was dangerous when she took it. As for the dropsies, Ew! I hadn't thought of that interpretation.

Bilbo: Perhaps Bob Ross' Alizarin Crimson?

Kate said...

I work for a surgeon and the first thing he ever yelled at me for was saying, "Oops!" during a procedure. Yeah. Do you know how hard it is to break yourself of that? Ack!

lacochran said...

Kate: I can imagine "Oops" would be frowned on. Along with "Ewww!" :)

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Oh, maybe I misunderstood what was meant by "dropsies." I've always thought it was a funny little word for saying diarrhea. In my family, we call it... Well, no, wait. I won't tell you what we call it. I just realized it's incredibly un-PC. Hm. Guess I'm gonna have to find a new term.

lacochran said...

J.M. You may be right! I assumed she was talking about her klutziness. Either way, not good.

j.m. tewkesbury said...

Hear! Hear! Though, I'd feel much better if it meant klutziness rather than diarrhea. I could handle the former. The latter is just too gross to stomach