Can we just agree, here and now, that if I ever date you and you are a vampire, that you will bite my neck?*
Not just a graze. Not a nibble. Not a hickey. Oh, you can do all that, too, but you better get around to a bite.** I'm talking chomp city. Because where's the value in dating a vampire otherwise?!
So, by now you can guess which movie I got stuck watching on the flight to Barbados.
Ooo, the teen angst. Ooo, the bleached out features. Ooo, the smoldering intensity.
Yeah, talk about biting.***
* You might as well tell me here and now as this is the kind of thing that's bound to come up. One night you'll be flossing in that annoying way you do--you use way too much elbow--and I'll say "Hey, if you were a vampire would you bite me?" and you'll have to answer me then and there with floss hanging from your teeth, which, trust me, won't help you at all.
** Okay, maybe I'm a wee bit too old for hickeys.
*** This was the better of the two movies I saw. I could, sadly, remember all of Twilight. But, try as I might, I couldn't remember the other film we saw on the trip back at all. It was close to two weeks later when I saw an ad on TV (it's coming out on Blu-Ray) that I realized we had seen The Day the Earth Stood Still on the return flight. Bleah. Really, really bleah. Promise me****, if you're ever Keanu Reeves, that you'll do better than this dreck?
**** Yeah, that's two promises I'm demanding. It's Monday; I'm feeling needy.