04 January 2009

Yakety Yak -- The Coasters


We are at a New Year's Party in Baltimore and notice how loud one person is. Okay, yeah, I'm sensitive to noise, but this guy is WAY louder than everyone else, forcing lean-ins anywhere near him. He doesn't appear to be inebriated, just loud in that "Look how important I am" way. I wonder if he has some sort of modulation problem or if he's just a jerk.

Eventually, Mr. Loud makes his way to me and introduces himself. I introduce myself. We chat about how we know the hosts.

Mr. Loud: So, you live around here?

Me: Not really. We're in Alexandria, Virginia. You?

Mr. Loud: We live in this area... OH! AlexANDria!

Me: Yes.

Mr. Loud: Near King Street?

Me: No, not in Old Town. South of the Beltway.

Mr. Loud: That's not Alexandria.

Me: Yes, it is.

Mr. Loud: You said you lived in Alexandria. That's not Alexandria.

Me: We have an Alexandria address.

Mr. Loud: That's not Alexandria.

Jerk. Definitely.

Isn't it amazing how people will argue with you about something they know nothing about and you know everything about? You want to argue politics? Okay. Restaurants? Sure. But where I live? I think, if you'll pardon the expression, I'm on pretty solid ground here.

I get that most people upon hearing "Alexandria" automatically think of Old Town. And if buying a 200 year old, very small townhouse, with a basement that floods, that you can only paint in Wilmington Tan and Colonial Black, for the totally reasonable sum of $1.5M is your idea of fun, more power to you. We don't choose to live in Old Town but we love the area's shops, galleries, restaurants and bars.

And I'm not a fan of perimeter creep for the sake of having a more fallutin' address (Olney is Olney, not Upper Rockville.) But Alexandria in Fairfax County is an actual place. The IRS says so. It's not like I have a choice of the "real" area I live in or the bigger/tangential Alexandria title. It's only Alexandria.

But why argue with a jerk? And a loud one, at that.


PS to Sassy: I appreciate the tag--sweet of you to think of me-- but there's no way I'm doing a meme that's that long. A) I chose non-thesis masters programs for a reason. B) If the CIA couldn't dig it up, there's no way I'm admitting on a blog what happened 10 years ago. I've said too much.

PPS: New poll up on the right. And when I say My blog, I mean, of course, YOUR blog. It's all about you, Kitten!

21 comments:

LBluca77 said...

I work with this lady that is SO loud and the more excited she gets the louder she gets. She will even go into a different room to have private conversations on her cell phone, ya we can still hear her. Word for word.

AbbotOfUnreason said...

Thanks for letting us know about the poll in the blog. It's nice because I read via RSS feed and wouldn't know about those things otherwise.

SingLikeSassy said...

No! No! No! No! It's only long because I'm longwinded and self-involved. You have to do it. Make up stuff. That would be fun. Like this:

10 years ago: I was on the command deck of the Starship Enterprise. Minutes earlier I had broken up an argument between Spock and Scotty. The two of them were getting on my last nerve and I was considering beaming them into the black hole.

Lemmonex said...

How dare you presume to know where you live? Doink.

Mike said...

I was at a reception where there was a guy (two tables away) that was louder than the music. Usually people like this are hard of hearing so they don't have any idea of how loud they actually are. It's like they're constantly on a cell phone. WHAT!?

Bilbo said...

People with very loud voices tend to have very small ... uh ... other things. I'm whispering this.

f.B said...

you know, i had a friend in Alexandria. i headed to his house to watch a game once. but i got lost. now i see why: i forgot to put "fake" in front of "Alexandria" in google maps

urban bohemian said...

I used to have to deal with the same thing when I lived in Alexandria, south of the Beltway in the Hybla Valley area. Between the standard outside the Beltway comments of "all the way out there?!" and "that's not Alexandria!" it started to get old really fast.

But given the situation you were in, I admire your restraint.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

I know when I'm on the phone, I talk louder than normal. Mostly that's a function of only hearing in one ear. As the phone is appended to my good ear, I can't gauge how loud I'm being like people with two good ears can. But enough about me.

People like Mr. Loud Jerk are annoying. I walk away.

You are a good person, because you exercise restraint and graciousness. I, OTOH, am a dismissive snark.

Kate said...

The post office tried to tell me my address didn't exist when I moved in with Gay Boyfriend.

The post office.

Um. I exist. Really I do.

Jamie said...

I'm with Mr. Loud. You don't really live in Alexandria, any more than people who live in Palisades live in DC, or people who live on Staten Island live in NYC.

Just kidding... but is is kinda funny, how few people realize that Alexandria isn't just Old Town and Arlington isn't just courthouse/clarendon. But I refuse to believe that Leisure World is in Silver Spring.

Liebchen said...

I'm impressed as well. I'd have been tempted to bust out a map (I'm sure *someone* had an iPhone) and prove it. Just so he'd know he was wrong.

Stubborn? What?

AbbotOfUnreason said...

Wait, I just realized: Duh, Alexandria is in Egypt. Of course you don't live there.

fiona said...

If I get TOLD
- " Oh Scaaatland, that's in Inglaand riight?"

One more time I'm gonna hit nay punch the offender...really I am

LiLu said...

When B and I signed up for Comcast (i.e., the day we sold our souls), they told us they couldn't come out to our apartment because the address didn't exist.

"Um, actually, I'm standing in it right now... I'm pretty sure I do in fact live in my apartment. Should I ring the doorbell and check?"

Barbara said...

I live in Fairfax County, but have an Alexandria mailing address, probably just as you do. No one ever seems to really understand that, but at least they don't argue with me. There are obnoxious people out there who think they know everything. I fear that when I was 10, I was was one of them. I had a couple of ridiculous conversations about how to pronounce cities like Sault Ste. Marie and Bogota. Fortunately I soon learned that people generally know where they come from.

Erin said...

LOL. I love this story. You stand up for your Alexandria self!

Unfortunately one of the comments was very upsetting...I thought the only Leisure World was in my neighborhood, Lansdowne (or is it Leesburg, like my address says?) Now I learn that it's a chain, and I'm feeling a lot less exceptional...

Herb of DC said...

Grumble...the comment fairy seems to be deleting my comments again. Or maybe I am confusing "Preview" with "Publish" again.

Narm said...

If I admit I am naughty on my blog does it affect Santa's perception of me?

lacochran said...

LBluca77: Ugh!

AbbotofUnreason: I'll assume you voted, then. Thanks!

SingLikeSassy: See how creative you are? :) I hope nothing terrible happens to me if I break the chain... I heard once that a friend's cousin's hairdresser broke a meme and lost at Yahtzee that very day!

Lemmonex: I don't know what came over me.

Mike: WHAT?! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??

Bilbo: Of course you are.

f.B: Google maps accepts "faux", too.

Urban Bohemian: We could have been neighbors! Damn that time continuum.

J.M. Tewkesbury: I'm sure my face was all dismissive snark.

Kate: Amazing.

Jamie: Ah, Leisure World. Gotta love the giant metal globe. I know about because I used to live in Wheaton. Of course, I called it Silver Spring.

Liebchen: I like the way you think. Stand next to me at the next party. I'm sure the next idiot is only a cheese ball away.

AbbotofUnreason: Can you be sure? This is the Interwebz, after all.

Fiona: People are stupid. Do they ask what it's like to be "Scotch", too?

LiLu: "Should I ring the doorbell and check?" LOL!

Barbara: Howdy, Neighbor!

Erin: But does your have a giant metal globe?

Herb of DC: You mean you left a comment and I didn't get to read it? *sniff* Leave it again!

Narm: Yup. Santa has financed this study.

zandria said...

Alexandria is an awesome place to live, even if you're not in Old Town! (Because if you live in Alexandria, at least you're CLOSE to Old Town.) :)