22 January 2009

"oh the flossy flossy" --Fergie

Quite a bit of Hollywood was in town for the inauguration, including Tom Hanks.

This led me to realize that I don't get Tom Hanks: Celebrity.

Tom Hanks: Actor. Absolutely.

Tom Hanks: Nice Guy. Sure.

Tom Hanks: Activist. Whatever.

Tom Hanks: Guy next to you, quietly eating a cheese danish? Fine.

But Tom Hanks: Celebrity? Not so much.

Celebrities are Big-Time Deals. They're interesting. Provocative. Sensational. Even downright notorious.

Tom's talented. But we know the intersection between talent and celebrity is often vague and sometimes non-existent. So, where's that celebrity oomph? Is Tom Hanks someone the press wants to follow? Is he really A-list material? Breaking it down even more: Is this the guy you want to party with?

Where's the glamour? The wacky persona? The substance abuse? The histrionics? Is Tom releasing a sex tape? Is Tom breaking up a marriage? Is Tom boldly displaying his lack of underwear? Can you see Tom getting arrested at 3 a.m. for throwing an empty bottle of Cristal at somebody's head during a drunken exchange?

No, no, you can not. And there's the rub.

Tom's not throwing anything at anybody.

Celebrity? Bah!


Liebchen said...

Isn't that what makes him so interesting? That non-conformity to Hollywood antics? I don't know...I'm just guessing.

But you're right. No glamor or 3am arrests. It's unheard of.

Narm said...

No, but he did make a Splash.

Get it?

Get it?

I'll go back to my cage.

f.B said...

Tom Hanks - *gulp* - sex tape? *shudder*

Didn't Dustin Diamond try that, too?

Kate said...

I think he's a true celebrity because he's NOT out doing all the crank and whores. That's what makes him classy.

fiona said...

We should set up a "Celebrity 101" class...charge mucho moola 50/50 split?

LiLu said...

We sort of had the same reaction at John Cusack. I mean, I love me some Say Anything, but... yeah... ?

Bilbo said...

Will you like me again if I throw an empty bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill (I can't afford Cristal) at some brainless talking head? If I picked Rush Limbaugh, I could hardly miss. And I don't do sex tapes. Any more. Sigh.

Mike said...

I took Tom Hanks course on "how to be a celebrity". But nothing has ever happened for me since. Now I know why.

LBluca77 said...

Anyone that was in the Burbs and or played a women on TV is a celebrity in my book.

Gilahi said...

Oh come on! The guy started his career on TV as a cross-dresser living in a female-only apartment and sharing a room with Peter Scolari! What more could you possibly need?

Lemmonex said...

Tom Hank's hair in the DaVinci Code plus nudity of any kind equals me barfing.

I could deal with him naked Bosom Buddies...maybe.

D.C. Confidential said...

Hm. I think Paris, LiLo, Brittany, and a few others should start taking a page out of Tom's play book. If their behavior is what constitutes celebrity, we could use a few less of those.

lacochran said...

Liebchen: Hm, an anarchist who passes for mundane? It just could work.

Narm: At least you have that nice torn newspaper lining it.

f.B: True and disturbing.

Kate: Are true celebrities classy? I had no idea.

Fiona: Your idea, your profit.

LiLu: Wasn't that a sweet movie? His best work. "She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."

Bilbo: I never stopped liking you. But a swing at Rush would get you to hero status.

Mike: You wondered why there was no money back guarantee, didn't you?

LBluca77: MMMno.

Gilahi: Yeah, there's a power name: Peter Scolari.

Lemmonex: So in the wig and make up?

D.C. Confidential: Heresy! What would the tabloids cover? Our whole economy would collapse. ...oh.