13 January 2009

"And suddenly that name will never be the same to me" --West Side Story (Bernstein & Sondheim)

When I was in grade school I thought about becoming a writer. Coming up with pen names was as far as I got.

How's this for a nom de plume: Shelley Garfield.

I've no idea where I got it from but I liked it. Strong. Easy to pronounce (unlike my last name at the time.) Had a successful feel to it. Not a million of them already out there. Just 10 thousand. I could visualize it on the cover of a bestseller. As in:

Intriguing Title


Shelley Garfield

Did I mention I didn't write? Oh, yeah, I did mention that.

A few years later, I decided Shelley Garfield was too pedestrian. So I went for: Aquel.

Just Aquel. Pronounced Ah-kel.

Exotic. Sexy. And anything that looked sort of like "Raquel", of the Welch fame, I figured would be a good money-maker. Hm, I was reading more trashy stuff by that age, so maybe that's where the exotic, sexy stuff came in.

I was smart enough not to share my pen name information far and wide at the time. I think I told one friend.

And, now? The whole world. Yes, you, representing the whole world now know this deep secret.

You totally owe me. Tell me something dorky about you.

Do it or I'll tell Mr. Myrtleman you drew a picture of him during class and made his ass really big.


Bilbo said...

I always wanted to write the definitive history of the Balkans under the pen name "Hugo Slavia." Aside from that, I can't think of anything dorky about myself, but I'm sure Mike, Gilahi, and others can come up with something for you.

Fearless in Toronto said...

After watching "the Sound of Music" and "Going My Way" as a child, I went though a year-long phase where I wanted to become a nun. Sad, but true.

It is so appropriate that the Verification Word is "dis me". Unbelievable.

Herb of DC said...

I wear the same pair of comfortable shoes to work every day and I am not a nurse or a physical ed teacher.

All other dorkiness is well documented on my blog.

Liebchen said...

After seeing so many Disney movies (Little Mermaid, specifically), I wanted my life to be like a musical - whenever I was upset/thinking/happy about something, I could burst out into song. I tried it a few times, making up my own words...very little success.

Mike said...

We used to call into work (from work) and ask the new phone answerer to page Mr. Jack Mehoff.

f.B said...

i giggle when people say "duty." because it sounds like "doody."

and, i own the whole friggin 10-disc special set of The Matrix. and while i haven't watched any of the movies since i got the set 3 years ago, i have made time to watch the disc about the "philosophy of the matrix," because i was a philosophy major in college and that kind of thing lingers like a song by the Cranberries.

LBluca77 said...

Shelly Garfield!!! Oh my god that is so my new code name I am telling men that I meet out at bars.

Kate said...

I've never like the name Shelly. I'm glad you changed it.

Sean said...

Garfield is either a cat name or presidential. Actually, that could work.

I figured for my famous name, I would just include my middle initial like Michael J. Fox or William H. Macy.

restaurant refugee said...

I have never seen the entirety of the Wizard of Oz because the flying monkeys scarred me when I was a kid.

fiona said...

I always wanted to be a Jane. What a Jane is exactly, I have no idea.

GreenCanary said...

In high school I tried out for the school musical, Cabaret. I got called back for the roll of a SLUTTY DANCER. I can't sing but by god, I sure can shake my booty.

LiLu said...

I have mentioned that my childhood aspiration was to join the Beach Boys as their only female member, right?


PS: My word verification is "thipical." It's like "typical," but with a really dorky lisp.

lacochran said...

Can I just say that it's so good of you folks to share your secret dork-nature. :)

Bilbo: Hugo on now.

Fearless in Toronto: Technically, they boot Maria out of the convent. I'd rather be Maria and get the rich hunk.

Herb of DC: Are they stylish? I'd at least want my feet to look small in them but maybe guys want the opposite...?

Liebchen: I'll bet you were hysterical! (to watch)

Mike: You Bart Simpson, you!

f.B: Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger...

LBluca77: Glad somebody gets some use from it. Please send any royalties (bar snack mix) this way.

Kate: So you like Aquel??

Sean: Just the initial. If you go for the full middle name, you become a serial killer. It's a fact.

Restaurant Refugee: I understand completely. Those were some scary-ass monkeys!! Certainly the most nightmarish part of it.

Fiona: Plain?

GreenCanary: Wish I had that talent. Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome! That's a strange pick for a high school musical. Now, I hear they do Rent.

Lilu: I want it all. Thipically.

Reya Mellicker said...

If we're talking dorky, I could go on and on.

I love both pen names. Actually you DO write. Lengthen your attention span and you'll have a book written in no time.

You rock, Aquel ... er ... lacochran ... uh ... whatever!

Felisa said...

I quite like Shelley Garfield. It sounds like the name of a murderous cat.

If I were famous, I'd pick an island-sounding name to show my pride in my heritage... Like
Kumoni Wana Layah.

Narm said...

Do you mind if I steal Nom de Plume for my pen name? I assume it means "Giant Biceps"

Barbara said...

My father's 5th cousin is the Queen of Norway (no joke). Think I should tell her? She might realize that my ancestor left as he was running away from the law...(no joke)

Arjewtino said...

I wanted my name to be Fausto Hilario.

I still think it's the greatest name in the world. Too bad I'm not Cuban.

lacochran said...

Reya Mellicker: "Lengthen your attention span and you'll have a book written in no time." Ah, if I were a heroine in a novel, my lack of attention span would be my downfall.

Felisa: All cats are murderous. That's why they're cool. "Kumoni Wana Layah"? And you think people struggle with Felisa.

Narm: Wouldn't that be Narm de Plume?

Barbara: Interesting tidbits (no joke) but hardly dorky.

Arjewtino: It's not like most people know the difference between Cuba and Argentina anyway.