26 January 2009

"Now that I've lost everything to you, you say you want to start something new..." --Cat Stevens

For this story, we'll need two names... let's say Hermione and Efrem.

We are buying groceries at the Giant yesterday. Hubby goes to pick up the last item on our list while I queue up on check out #5.

I am minding my business, watching some pre-teen girl flip out because there is a reference to an actor from Twilight on the cover of one of the magazines at the checkout. (Squee!!)

Hermione, a bagger: Miss! Miss. Three's open. Come this way.

There is that weird moment where everybody stops and looks around. Who is the lucky shopper?

Hermione is talking to me.

I maneuver my heavy cart out of #5 and start heading to #3.

Hermione: Right this way.

At this point, a man and woman maneuver their cart in front of me at #3.

Hermione, pointing to me: I'm sorry but this lady is next.

Woman: But he said we were next. *pointing to Efrem*

Efrem is opening the register at #3.

Hermione to Efrem: I told her she was first.

Efrem to Hermione: I told them they were first.

Hermione: Oh.

Me: Great.

Hermione: I'm sorry.

I queue up behind the couple. It's annoying to be told you're next only to be told you're not next but, really, they don't have all that much. Efrem locks and loads and within a minute or two, I am able to start unloading my groceries. Hubby comes back. We have about 15 (of the 40 or so) items on the belt when...

Hermione: Have you already started unloading? Put it back. She can take you on four.

Me: *continuing to unload*

Hermione: Put it back in the cart! She can take you on four.

Me: *continuing to unload* No. I'm not moving again.

Because, Hermione needs to be quiet and go back to bagging. She's well-intentioned but she clearly has no authority and if I've already gotten this much stuff on the belt, it doesn't make sense to switch. But this leads to the question du jour: Are you a line switcher?

And, a snippet from the very funny Sebastian Maniscalco...


*Jac* said...

I never switch lines. I'd rather just stand still and read headlines than move all over the store. My Ex always tried to get in one line and make me get in the other to see which is quickest and it drove me nuts. Is 5 minutes really worth all the bother?

LiLu said...

I definitely wouldn't have switched. The stress of possibly making the wrong choice after doing physical labor for it is worse than staying put and being wrong. You iz smarts.

Narm said...

I would not have switched and would have made her put everything in plastic and then change my mind and make her switch to paper. That'll teach her.

I'm pure evil.

f.B said...

I switch. But only if it's to my benefit. Not just because I'm asked. Shopping lanes at the grocery store are high stress situations. So once I'm set and comfortable, don't rock the boat, please.

Liebchen said...

I'd switch the first time, but once I've started unloading? No way, jose. It's more trouble than it's worth.

rs27 said...

Never listen to anyone named Hermione.

You'll thank me for this piece of advice later.

LBluca77 said...

I am not a line switcher. But I the person that ALWAYS seems to get stuck behind the person that..

A) waits until they get their total then takes out their wallet.

B) the person that has no idea how to input their phone number to get discounts.

C) the person that knows the cashier and feels the need to take this opportunity to catch up.

D) the person that realized they forgot 1 item so then everyone must wait.

E) the person that even though they are done still feels the need to stand there looking for their keys or putting away thier wallet even though I have gotten my total and I need to swipe my card to pay.

Can you tell I don't like the grocery store? It causes way to much anxiety for me.

Kate said...

I don't switch. Grocery stores make me nervous to begin with. All the potential getting hit with a cart, clean up on aisle threes, it's a veritable kingdom of accidents waiting to happen. Once I'm set that I'm on my way out, I'm set.

Herb of DC said...

What rs27 said. As a matter of fact, avoid all H names.

washwords said...

bwah ha ha. how freakin frustrating. but yes, i'm a line-switcher, and a hopper-leaner, as in leannnnnning left "line 2 looks better, should i move? I think i should move. should i?" leannnnnnning right, "wait, look over there. that's not right, what the...grumble"

restaurant refugee said...

I am not a line-switcher, as *Jac* said, the extra five minutes is not worth it. I am however the perpetually bad line chooser, like LBluca. If you ever see me in the grocery store, don't get in the same line.

Matt said...

If it was me, I would have challenged Hermoine to a fist fight over that.

Wars have been started for less.

Mike said...

I choose carefully then stick with it.

lacochran said...

*Jac*: Interesting. I switch if the line I've chosen becomes nightmarish.

LiLu: Thanks. So iz youz.

Narm: I don't know about the pure part.

f.B: Agreed.

Liebchen, Kate, Mike: K. Thanks for weighing in.

Rs27: You'll forget you gave me this piece of advice later.

LBluca77: Sounds like you've got a post of your own coming on...

Herb of DC: Hey, wait a minute...

Washwords: You're an optimizer, is what you are.

Restaurant Refugee: Noted.

Matt: Yes, but you're a boxing champion. Me, not so much.

Erin said...

The worst is when people switch lanes in their cars at Toll plazas! Totally dangerous, and just to shave off a millisecond.

lacochran said...

Erin: Agreed--unbelievably dangerous.