23 January 2009

"When we get crazy, it just ain't right" --the Eagles

[Women can be delightfully complex]

This is a public service for the gentlemen in the audience.

The topic: Chick traps.

A note of explanation on the term: (No, a chick trap is not Narm's roofie-tini.) The term comes from a former boyfriend who, when faced with an impossible question from me, was wise enough to recognize impending doom and abort, declaring "Chick trap!" Meaning: no matter what he said he'd get in trouble, so all he'd respond with was "Nope! Not going there. Chick trap!"

And, really, I've never heard a guy pull this kind of behavior so maybe the name is deserved? Or maybe I'm stereotyping and I just need to be educated. Either way, perhaps we can all be a bit more aware and recognize a trap when it's set for us* because there are definitely questions for which there are no good answers.

A recent conversation that illustrates...

Hubby, arriving home and speaking to me from across the room: You've been home all day?

Me: Yeah.

Hubby: And you're wearing a bra?

Me: Yeah. Wait... how do you know I'm wearing a bra?

Hubby: *deer in headlights*

Me: Well?

Hubby: There's no good answer to that question.

More obvious examples of chick traps:

  • Which of my friends is the hottest?
  • If you could change one thing about my appearance, what would it be?
Extended dance-mix chick trap**:
  • If I were dead, would you remarry? (Yes --> You mean someone could take my place?!, No --> So, having been married to me, you don't like marriage?!)
These are just a few examples. If you've been in relationships for even a week you'll, no doubt, have your own.

*Yeah, I could stop laying traps but where's the fun in that? Besides, it's an opportunity for the male of the species to improve his agility. Quick reflexes are a must in today's competitive environment and tough economic climate. So, really, it's a favor. Um, yeah. Let's go with that.

** Which you can do the chicken dance to, if you so choose.


Kristin said...

Sometimes they just set themselves, the chick traps. I open my mouth and they fall out. It's worse than the period when I stopped finishing sentences just to see what people would say. Nothing good ever comes from that.

Kate said...

You're a sneaky one. I love it!

Narm said...

Oh god I hate these. I also refuse to answer these questions and move on. The worst isn't when the girl is angry - but when she's acting all cute trying to trap you. It's like pulling out the rug from under us.

You are an evil species.

By the way, I made you a martini...

Bilbo said...

Setting: a department store. Wife holds up two dresses on hangars.

Wife: "Which one do you like better?"

Bilbo: "This one." (points)

Wife: "Why don't you like this one?" (holds up the other)

Bilbo: "I didn't say I didn't like that one, I just like the other one better."

Wife: "Yes, but why don't you like this one?"

Bilbo: runs screaming into the night, having blundered into yet another fiendish chick trap.

Kate said...

That comic strip is genius!

Fearless in Toronto said...

I prefer unisex traps such as "you're not really going to wear/eat/drink that, are you?" Why be passive when you can be aggressive...or vice-versa?

Katherine said...

Submit that word to urban dictionary please. The brilliance must be spread.

rs27 said...

I always answer these questions.

"Which of my friends is the hottest?"

The tall leggy blonde. Sexy time.

"If you could change one thing about my appearance, what would it be?"

I can't hear you, your ass is in the way.

Its a win win for all parties.

AbbotOfUnreason said...

I was going to suggest a response for your husband, but I realized that I can't type it. This whole post is just another chick trap.

I don't think it should count as a chick trap, though, because he was dumb enough to start it.

Gilahi said...

There's another whole category of questions that you answer without even thinking about.

"Do these pants make my butt look big?" NO.

"Do you think she's attractive?" WHO? I DIDN'T SEE ANYBODY.

LBluca77 said...

Men do not stand a chance when it comes to chick traps. Poor things.

RS comment was classic!

Mike said...

"No --> So, having been married to me, you don't like marriage?!"

Nope, it's just that the been there done that rule applies.

fiona said...

Chick "Booby" Traps...he missed the Booby. Typical!

SheinMD said...

Me: (struggling to reach something on a shelf) Can you get this for me, it's too high for me.

Husband: Sure, short-o-ppotomus

Me: (Blank stare) Seriously?

They definitely set themselves up.

emmajames said...

This is why I love being a chick.

Barbara said...

Most anything you say can be thrown back at you to make you doubt yourself. It's not necessarily a man-woman thing.

lacochran said...

Kristin: Nothing.

Kate: Who, me? ;)

Narm: Does this taste funny to you?

Bilbo: But why don't you like that one?

Kate: Agreed. We have a copy on our fridge.

Fearless in Toronto: Ooo, nice ones.

Katherine: I did and they accepted it! Check it out! Chick Trap

Rs27: This explains a lot.

Abbot of Unreason: He was asking for that one.

Gilahi: Just, whatever you do, don't hesitate. :)

LBluca77: Don't feel too bad for them. They do alright.

Mike: So, you've been down that chick trap. (That doesn't sound right.)

Fiona: He's usually so aware of them.

SheinMD: *Snort*! :) Seriously, indeed.

EmmaJames: *starts singing "I enjoy being a girl"*

Barbara: Maybe we're just more adept at it? Maybe not.

f.B said...

I'm still maimed from the last chick trap I fell into. Some people say it's given me a touch of a limp on the right side.

lacochran said...

f.B: At least you were able to crawl out again. Some never do.

Liebchen said...

That comic strip really is fantastic. And so appropriate.

lacochran said...

Liebchen: A little too spot on. :)

Erin said...

My husband is wiser about these now. He knows better than to comment on my weight, age, career choices, parenting, or hair without kevlar.

Luckily his efforts are no match for my womanly ninja skills.

lacochran said...

Erin: I"ll bet you're great with a throwing star.