18 August 2008

"Taking Care of Business Every Day" -- BTO

Lately, I've driven by more costumed people than I'd call normal. I mean, occasionally, you have to expect to see a person in a chicken costume as you drive past the chicken take-out, don't you? Well, I always hope to. Just for the magic that is a person in a chicken suit.

But it's becoming clear that there is a thriving job market if you want to get dressed up like a pizza or a mattress or a realty sign (yes, realty sign) and wave and point. I'm not talking sandwich board, I'm talking full on costume, here. In my area, they're impressive costumes, too. Much better ones than the picture shown above that I found by Google search. Why would a pizza have a chef's hat on it's side? I'm not feeling it.

I'm not sure I'd choose it as a career but perhaps as an "in between" gig. Lots more pros than cons but those cons... hm...


  • You get paid.
  • You get to wear a costume.
  • You don't have to have special knowledge or training.
  • It doesn't matter if you are having a bad hair day. Or a bad face day, for that matter.
  • You can goof around all you want. In fact, this is the perfect time to show off your new dance moves.
  • You don't have to sit in meetings and/or try to keep from rolling your eyes.
  • Nobody knows it's you so when you go to your high school reunion you can make up something more prestigious, like Fry Jockey.
  • You don't get paid much.
  • You have to wear a costume no matter how hot/rainy/miserable the weather gets.
  • You don't gain any special knowledge or training.
  • It is hard to parlay this into a bigger gig, like a Fruit-of-the-Loom commercial.
  • It's impossible to give the finger because of your giant Mickey Mouse hand when that car full of guys throws a cup of soda at you.


Narm said...

PRO - chicks dig a man in uniform.

CONS - swamp ass

Kristin said...

I'm not sure which list would warrant "making children cry" but I know a number kids (and a few adults) who are terrified of people in costume.

Bilbo said...

I have this recurring nightmare about having a job like this for a circumcision clinic...

Gilahi said...

Now that you mention it, people do seem to have less respect for me when I wear my Snausages costume to the office.

james in washington said...

In grad school I once had a job wearing a sandwich board to advertise for a coffee shop.

I "worked" along Aurora Avenue in Seattle and had two slushies hurled at me from cars going 50 mph.

That is a con. I quit after 3 hours.

Reya Mellicker said...

Swamp ass? Ewww.

I lived in San Francisco for many years. People there dress in costume on a regular basis. Costumes in San Francisco are the norm.

On one trip back there a few years ago, long after I'd habituated to DC's dreary dress code, my first morning in SF I went out for coffee. I was so amused by all the costumed people coming and going from the cafe. I thought to myself, "I forgot how intense the costuming is here."

Then ...

I remembered it was Halloween!

Ha ha. Check the calendar, Reya, check the calendar!

lacochran said...

Narm: See? It's just so hard to decide.

Kristin: Wow, you've triggered a flashback... I was little and we went to a McDonalds and there was a man dressed as Ronald McDonald and kids were running up to him and I wanted nothing to do with him and my parents couldn't understand it and I started to cry and we left. Creepy. To this day, I blame Ronald McDonald for my run on sentences.

Bilbo: There's a tip joke in there somewhere.

Gilahi: Snausages! Tasty.

James in Washington: At least they didn't hurl the hot coffee at you but still... yeah... Con.

Reya: I didn't talk about swap ass, that was Narm. And Halloween can definitely sneak up on you.

Bilbo said...

Tip joke...HAR, DE HAR-HAR-HAR!!!