20 August 2008

I've got to be the only one who thinks about these things


[The Taco Bell harbinger of death.]


Thanks to Blogger's handy auto-post option and my slow Tuesday, I cranked out a post for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and set each to auto-post on a respective day.* The point was, no matter how crazybusy I was and how many meetings I found myself in (I have five, count 'em: five standing meetings on Wednesday), I'd know that some small gift from me was headed your way, dear Internets.

Then I thought, what if I die tonight? Won't it be weird to have posts seemingly from the other side? How creepy is that? Okay, it's not as creepy as having a Taco Bell delivery show up at your door from someone who's dead but still...** I dunno...

Then I thought: well, most of you won't know I'm dead.

That wasn't the cheery thought you might think it ought to be.

I left the auto-posts in place and told myself to get over myself.

But occasionally I think about things like this. Really stupid things.*** Like, what if my car decides to switch stations on me just at the point of death and the police come and track it back **** and they announce to my loved ones that I was listening to Rush Limbaugh or Billy Ray Cyrus at the moment I left this mortal coil when that was the car's choice, damn it! It's an electrical problem! But Rush or Billy Ray? That's not good. That's not how I want to be remembered, if I'm remembered at all. Promise me, when the AP wire gets listed, you'll skip the part about the radio station I was listening to. PROMISE ME!

Um, thanks.

Well, I didn't die before the Wednesday post went out. That's something.

Now I'm thinking: wouldn't it be weird if I died right after I sent out this post on how weird it would be if I died?


* This post was not one of them. This is an extra special post just 'cause. Remember I delivered this extra post when I am a husk of failed creativity. Or something.

** Is it possible to get a Taco Bell delivery? Maybe that doesn't even make sense. You see how distraught I am.


*** As opposed to my usual brilliant analysis on important topics like String Cheese.

**** Because the police have nothing better to do than ponder what radio show I was listening to when I died.

10 comments:

AbbotOfUnreason said...

I heard on "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me" about a site for Christians who believe in the rapture. They can put in emails for their heathen friends and in the event of the rapture (when they're taken up to heaven), their friends who didn't make the cut will get farewell messages. They've got a set of devout Christians who have to log onto the site every day. If those folks don't log in as expected, the system assumes they've been Taken Home and sends out the creepy messages from beyond.

Maybe that was one of the things they said was not true...

Anyway, it occurs to me that it might be a good business idea to have an email server that you can send messages to and if you don't go in after a day to remove the message, only then does it send it on. That way, you can have time to cool off or rethink or sober up or whatever and catch that email before it causes more trouble.

Kristin said...

I totally think about these things, especially because I try to autopost about the paces I'm going to be when I go on vacation. What if I get lost? Don't go? Die in fiery plane crash? That would just be weird.

Narm said...

It is kinda like when your Mom tells you wear clean underwear just in case you get hit by a car.

Herb of DC said...

You aren't the only person thinking of this! I also just posted on a similar topic on my blog. So who gets your blog when you pass away? Should you put your expectations in your will?

Gilahi said...

What makes you so sure that you won't be able to continue to blog after you die? I strongly suspect that many bloggers in this space shuffled off their mortal coil years ago. Do you ever see their photographs? No. It's because they don't show up on film. Or in digital... whatever it is.

Reya Mellicker said...

When I have thoughts like this, the Sufi acupuncturist does a serious treatment on me, including muttering prayers in Arabic (since he's Sufi.)

Cease and desist with the "what if I die" thoughts, yes? YES!! L'chaim!

charlotteharris said...

So funny, but oh I think about this stuff too. Like, should I delete all those old drafts that I wrote in a fit of passion but I am so relieved I never posted? Would someone eventually find them? Eeks!

Shannon said...

Oh, gosh, I've been dead for YEARS. A freak kegstand accident - very embarassing. Fortunately, as a noble savage, I'm able to blog from Limbo.

zandria said...

That's pretty interesting to think about, you're right -- posts coming out on the blog even if something horrific has happened to you. I've thought about giving someone access to my Wordpress account so they could let my blog readers know if something happened to me, but I haven't followed through yet.

lacochran said...

Abbot: "their friends who didn't make the cut will get farewell messages" -- as in "I told you so"?

Kristin: ExACTly.

Narm: Right. Does she know something we don't?

Herb: You did a great treatment on the topic! Funny stuff.

Gilahi: That would explain some things, yes.

Reya: Yes! L'chaim!

Charlotte: A little housekeeping, eh?

Shannon: Nice blog/death balance!

Zandria: Don't even put that energy out there.