11 May 2008

Happy Burns

I know there are some people that have pleasant associations with burns. This is not that kind of true confession. This is about food.

There are some foods that are delicious and, when prepared properly, not only become molten-hot but can maintain their moltenicity longer than other foods. You probably have your own list*, but here's my top 3 molten foods for which I will happily singe the roof of my mouth:

1) Creamed corn










There is something about the viscosity of creamed corn that allows it, once hot, to stay hot. Searingly, singeingly, molten, hot. Like corn lava. I can't get enough of the stuff.

2) Pizza (New York style, preferably)














I will certainly eat cold pizza but it is a very different experience from fresh, hot pizza. How many happy moments have I spent burning the heck out of my mouth on stretchy mozzarella when it tops a slice from a pie that's right out of the pizza oven? [Insert sound of Homer Simpson drool here]

3) Pepperidge Farm Apple Turnovers:























The quintessential happy burn! I grew up with these in the freezer. Dad and I loved them. If you bake them long enough for the flaky puff pastry to rise properly, the apple and raisin goo-filling becomes the hottest thing on god's green earth. If you wait for the apple-raisin magma to cool, the puff pastry becomes stiff and unappealing. You pretty much have to: nibble-sear, nibble-sear, nibble-sear. Totally worthy of a Snuffles, the cartoon dog, happy dance!










* Because that's how you spend your time. **

** If that really is how you spend your time, feel free to share your list!

5 comments:

Gilahi said...

1) Stouffer's French Bread Pizzas. Stick those puppies in the oven for 40 minutes or so and you can use them to carry fire to the neighbor's hearth.
2) Hot/Lean Pockets. The downside of these is that you don't get the flavor reward. They're just not that good. I've eaten hundreds of them anyhow because they're just so darned convenient.

Sudiegirl said...

The Stouffer's Corn Souffle has a similar molten effect, I've found.

And YAY Snuffles!!!!!

AbbotOfUnreason said...

Wow. I really really really never thought I'd meet someone willing to praise creamed corn. Wow.

I honestly think creamed corn is gross, but I wonder what it would taste like formed into balls and dropped into a deep fat fryer. Might need a little breading on the outside... Hmm.

The only thing I could think of in this vein is an old-fashioned McDonald's apple pie. Back in the 70s, they were deep fried and it was impossible to wait long enough for them to cool down before eating them. I've not eaten at a McDonald's in ten or fifteen years, and I think they changed their process, but back in the day. yum.

lacochran's evil twin said...

Gilahi & Sudiegirl: So Stouffers has a good grasp on molten. Thanks for the tip. :)

Gilahi: Those hot/lean pockets look nasty. ...except when I'm really hungry.

Sudiegirl: Loved Snuffles!! Best part of Quick Draw!

AbbottofUnreason: Oh, you know nothing of my deep and unending love of corn. I once debated someone on how corn is the ultimate staple. His lame argument was that rice was superior because look how many cultures used it in their diets, that it was included in all emergency food drops because it was so easily digestible, etc. My argument was that corn tastes great! What? That was pretty much it. Can you believe I don't have debate team experience? Oh, and "fritter" is a perfectly acceptable way of serving the staple supreme. Lots of molten potential there, too!

Anonymous said...

that is so true about the creamed corn! and i like the stuff :)