There's no choice. I have to go back to the movies. The latest (last?) Indiana Jones is coming out and I have to see it on the big screen while I and, more importantly, Harrison can still stumble through it.
We almost never go to the movies. Don't believe it? The last two films I saw on the big screen (they call 'em "talkies", right?) were animation: Ratatouille (2007) and Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005).
Why so long between events, you ask?*
- The temperature in most theaters is set to the correct temperature at which to serve Stoli.
- The cost of a ticket could feed little starving Guillermo and his entire village for 6 months. It's true, I am one of those old fogeys who still remembers when picture shows were $4 a pop. (Yeahyeah, and milk was a quarter and I walked to school uphill both ways carrying all my brothers and sisters on my back. Ahhh, good times.)
- The sound is blaring. Okay, I actually like it that they blare the sound, though it hurts my widdle ears, because it sometimes blocks out the noisy people around me. But, it sometimes distorts pretty badly, too.
And, of course...
- The people.
- *cue Barbra* People who need people... and prove it by initiating cell phone calls in the middle of movies. People who answer cell phone calls in the middle of movies. People who don't answer their cell phones but don't turn off the ringer either.
- People in the seat in front of you who move around as much as a Tina Turner back-up dancer.
- Kids who decide the back of your seat is a good place to practice their DDR moves (or the Lindy or whatever the heck those young whippersnappers are doing these days.)
- People who sit on the inside of my row and insist on drinking a vat of soda, thereby requiring me to get up and out of their oh-so-urgent way 50 times during the movie.
- People who explain the movie loudly to the person next to them. "He's just leaving the ransom note! Now... oh, look, now, he's getting into a cab." Did I wander into "movies for the visually impaired"?
On the flip side:
- How exciting is that initial moment when the lights dim and they start to play the feature film?
- What better way to see an intricate action sequence or a visually stunning panorama than on the big screen?
- How fun is it to hear not just your own laughter, but a roar of laughter all around you?
* You're really good that way. Great questions. Really. It's a wonder your 3rd grade teacher didn't see your potential.