14 May 2008

Irritants




Alright. I admit it. I'm cranky.

Things that especially torque me lately:

1) Telemarketers can not be bothered to call you anymore. Apparently, you just weren't doing your part. And, so, why would they call you, really? What a waste of time for them. Instead, they have a recording call you telling you how important it is that you call them.

Um, TelemarketingPookie? I ain't calling you back. I ain't even listening to the recorded pitch, no matter how many times your perky actor inserts the word "urgent" into it. [In my best 'Dana Carvey does Bush the elder' voice]: Not gonna happen.

I barely call the people I like back, this is how much I dislike being on the telephone. Why the heck would I call you?!

Similarly, the television commercials which end with "Nowwhat.com". Does anyone really go to this web-site to find out what this is about? Was "YeahIgiveash*t.com" already taken?

2) The number of conservative radio hosts that have taken to describing themselves as "independent thinkers"--not conservative, not liberal, but "truly open-minded", as if this will somehow draw them a larger listening base. Chyeah. All one has to do is listen to their rants for two minutes to know which side of the political spectrum they firmly land on. And I do. I listen sometimes for half-an-hour at a time. And then I react like anyone would who has been the recipient of an earwig.

Some of the people I love the most in this world are conservatives. But the difference is, they own it. Fergawdssake, be who you are. Embrace it! Have a little backbone! I can respect people whose opinions are different from mine but not if they cloak them in the guise of "impartiality."

3) Billy Mays. Or perhaps I should say BILLY MAYS!!! I am amazed at how many different advertisers have hired this guy. Are there really sheep listening to this guy who think, "Well, if he's yelling that loudly, it must be good!" Do they yell back at the television "OKAY, BILLY!! I'LL GET IT RIGHT AWAY!!!!"?

10 comments:

GreenCanary said...

Lately I've been getting recorded messages telling that "the factory warranty on your vehicle is about to expire!" Um, Telemarketer People? The warranty on my vehicle expired in the 80s.

Bilbo said...

Don't get me started on the recorded telemarketing calls (which include the political ads). I'm with you...get off my %$!#@ phone. If you don't have the guts to listen to me hang up on you, don't send your robot to do your dirty work on your behalf. AARRGGHH!!

Gilahi said...

I HATE BILLY MAYS! I WOULDN'T BUY ANYTHING HE ADVERTISES ON THE OFF-CHANCE THAT THE PEOPLE WHO HIRED HIM MIGHT THINK HE WAS DOING SOME GOOD! I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT HE'LL HAVE A SHORT CAREER, AS HIS VOICE IS JUST BOUND TO BURN OUT AT SOME POINT! AT LEAST GILBERT GOTTFRIED IS OCCASIONALLY FUNNY!

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Those pre-recorded telemarketing messages are such a laugh. I delete them before they're even finished talking. As for Bill Mays, he's the reason I mute the t.v. when commercials come on. And don't get me started on conservative talk show hosts. Though I did have to laugh the other day when a friend and I were in public talking about Diane Rheem (who is not a conservative talk host, but is a talk host, so it goes with the theme here, right?) and a total stranger cried out, "Oh, I hate that woman. (Shudder) She's a communist, I tell you! A COMMUNIST!" Ooooo-kay then...

lacochran said...

Green Canary: I get those, too! Jeez! Right?!

Bilbo: The robots need to unionize. Where's Norma Rae when you need her?

Gilahi: That's so true! I never realized it before. Billy totally ripped off Gilbert!!

J.M.: At what point did "reasonable" become equated with "communist"?? *shakes head*

D.C. Confidential said...

I wondered the same thing, too! I actually enjoy listening to her because I think she's fair and balanced. Oh, wait. No. That's that other news channel: Toxic Fox. Well, of course, it's so easy to confuse the two....

Sarcastically,

J.M. Tewkesbury, Communist

j.m. tewkesbury said...

Oops. Pardon the confusion. Meant to post as J.M. Tewkesbury, but forgot I'm signed in as D.C. Confidential right now. Oh well. Sorry 'bout that.

lacochran said...

DC/JM: No probs. Multiple blog identities makes multiple personality disorder fashionable, doncha think? Thanks to "both" of you for stopping by. :)

Mama said...

Billy Mays is sooooo annoying that I hit the "mute" button when he screams out his first syllable. Would you believe this nutbar has a cult following?

lacochran said...

Mama: It's crazy. Oh, and I do the same thing.