09 March 2010

Assorted Flotsam

  • Why is it that every rug store I've ever gone past is continually going out of business? Never out of business, mind you. Just going, going... going. Is this a state law? When you get your lease, do they also issue you an "Everything Must Go" banner? Good economy, bad economy, it doesn't seem to matter. Maybe it's just a standard part of the melodrama. Reminds me of when I bought my Tabriz and asked if there was some room to negotiate the price. The response from the merchant, his arms extended toward me, wrists up, was, "Why don't you just slash my wrists?"
  • I had plenty of time during SNOW2010 to check in on the Food Network and what I've come to understand is that, like movie critics, some chefs/cooks are going to jive with my tastes and some aren't. Paula and Ina use way too much fat and sugar for me, the Neelys use too much bacon*, etc. But that doesn't mean they're not entertaining. You can always rank on Bobby Flay's accent or Giada's bobblehead. And each and every one of them makes a great drinking game. You can see how many times they say: "Doesn't that look delish?", "This is one of my favorites", "...lemon to brighten the dish", "I wish you could smell this", etc. The other thing I've noticed is that one cooking show will tell you to add oil to pasta water, another will tell you not to. One cooking show will tell you to rinse mushrooms and another will tell you not to. Where is the Wiki judgy person for Food Network?
  • Do they no longer feel it's important to heat restrooms in restaurants these days? Has anyone else noticed the drop in temps in even fancy restaurant restrooms? Brrrrrrrr.
  • We saw a woman on the Metro the other day. She wasn't indigent (unless this was her first day). She was dressed conservatively and sturdily. Reminiscent of nun-wear, if you will... sensible. And she sat quietly for all of a minute before standing, turning toward the other passengers, and saying, loudly, "Are you visitors? Out this window is the Jefferson Memorial and here you can see there's been lots of rain so the water is high..." She proceeded to do a rudimentary travelogue. I nudged the Husband warily. He whispered, "She's with people." I shook my head, "No, she's alone." He looked back and, with some thought, said, "And she always will be." After another minute of awkwardness, she sat down and pulled out a pamphlet that had a profile of Jesus on the cover, complete with thorny crown. I feared we might get preached to--it wouldn't be the first time on the Metro. She sat for two more minutes before she stood and began talking to the man standing by the door with the baby carriage. His face was a mix of embarrassment and politeness--you know, the half-smile and the squinty, averted eyes. She didn't proselytizing, just shared. She was going to get off at this particular exit and go to mass on this street and...blahblahblah. What occurred to me was: Are people who are this lonely more likely to immerse themselves in religion, where they have to be accepted?

* That's right. I said it.


Narm said...

Mmmm...Giada and bacon. I hope that is what heaven looks like.

Kate said...


And then they join church council where you HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM IN LOVE. Because Jesus tells you so.


Bowie Mike said...

Before that lady tried religion, she tried searching for acceptance by helping strangers find the bathroom in the Metro, but she found no acceptance there. Didn't you recognize her?

KCSherri said...

...or every time Rachel Ray says, "EVOO"....or "you can never have enough cheese"...GRRRR....

the dogs' mother said...

I read, someplace, that towns with high tourist volume will have stores that are always going out of business figuring some tourists can't pass up a good 'deal'.

restaurant refugee said...

I know of one rug store, just ONE, that had the 9 year long going out of business sale (9 years I can recall) before they actually closed.

Mike said...

I hope you didn't get any blood on your new free rug when you cut the guys wrists.

FoggyDew said...

Did you see Don't Mess with the Zohan? There was an electronics store in it called GOOB Electronics for Going Out Of Business.

I'm a man, I don't notice bathroom temps. Not an issue when the only thing touching the bathroom surfaces are the soles of your shoes.

You can never have too much bacon and Giada has other, more impressive bobbly assets.

Liebchen said...

I wonder if even the other people at her mass think she's...off.

Or, you know, maybe she was just practicing for some tour guide audition. Who knows?

rachaelgking said...

"Why is it that every rug store I've ever gone past is continually going out of business?"

Great. Now I have the "Empire" commercial in my head.

"Call 1-800-588-2300..."

Maya said...

I believe the answer to that last question is Yes. Also, our toilet room at home (mind you, this is different than our BATHroom) is extremely cold. Apparently, they don't think people need heat when using the facilities.

Maya said...

You can have too much bacon?????

Anonymous said...

That kind of loneliness terrifies the hell out of me. I hope to never have to feel it.

spleeness said...

This might be a good opportunity to snag business cards from the rug store and proselytize right back! I mean, you just know that lonely woman needs a rug.

Barbara said...

As for save-on-the-bathroom-heating, I have noticed multiple merchants only reluctantly giving me a bag for my purchase. I was in Blue Mercury in Dupont recently and the sales woman said, "You don't want a bag, do you?" I felt like saying, "That's the least you can give me for buying overpriced cosmetics!"

As for your missionary-on-the-metro, there are a lot of harmless nutcases in and around this city.

Felisa said...

OH MY GOSH yes I've noticed that restrooms are getting colder and colder. And I've always thought fancy restaurants will soon upgrade to heated toilet seats. Dammit!

Reya Mellicker said...

Jesus makes many people go nuts. He's worse than too much caffeine, apparently.

I, too, love the food channel. I have a feeling Ina isn't very nice, the way she always goes on and on about things being cut in chunks that are the same size. But I love her life, living in the Hamptons, having millions of gay friends who adore her. What's not to like?

What I hear most often is "This smells so good!" from every food network host or hostess. A drinking game, eh? I like it.

Pauline said...

"Paula and Ina use way too much fat and sugar for me, the Neelys use too much bacon*, etc"

Yeah, the Food Network hosts are definitely NOT all created equal. I've seen one or two shows where they make sludge every week and think: "How did they get their own show?"

Alice said...

huh. i actively detest watching rachel ray, but if i made it into a DRINKING GAME.... you may be on to something here!

Little Ms Blogger said...

I'm assuming the rug shops were all oriental rug shops because they're always going out of business in CT.

brad said...

Ugh. I know she may have "meant well," but the Metro is for riding, not for sharing.

Liz S said...

All I know is, nobody seems to think "am I possibly tone deaf?" before joining the church choir. And yes. Yes you are. Tone deaf. Get back to your pew.

Brutalism said...

Love your husband's comment on the sturdy woman. Don't you always have that mix of feelings when the nut job on the metro is "sharing" with another passenger? You feel bad for them, yet are so glad it is not you who is cornered.

lacochran said...

Narm: How could it not?

Kate: Jesus can be kinda bossy, huh?

Bowie Mike: I knew there was something sorta familiar about her.

Drama Queen: Or "sammies" in place of sandwiches. Grrr.

froggy: There's one born every minute, right?

restaurant refugee: ExACTly.

Mike: The bloodstain serves as a sweet reminder.

FoggyDew: I saw and sort of liked DMwtZ. Complete silliness and great details like that.

Liebchen: I'd bet on your first instinct.


Maya: You may not need it but it sure makes the experience so much more pleasant.

Maya: I said it. I stand by it.

emmajames: I hope none of us do.

spleeness: It might give her something new to talk about.

Barbara: Do they all follow me?

Felisa: I'm waiting for restaurant critics to start scoring based on the condition of the bathroom. :)

Reya Mellicker: Ina's life does look pretty sweet.

Pauline: Incriminating pictures of the producer?

Alice: When life hands you lemons, make a Tom Collins.

Little Ms Blogger: Yup.

brad: And, yet, so many, many people share so very, very much more than I want to hear on the Metro.

Tinksfairy: Ha!

Brutalism: Yeah, it's like seeing someone pulled over getting a ticket--sucks to be them but better them than me.