30 December 2008

"Every day is a winding road, I get a little bit closer" --Sheryl Crow



Since I've been on the road for the last week, I thought I might share some of my deep thoughts from the trip.

1. Restaurants advertise Chicken Tenders. I don't know about the Tenders but I predict huge sales if someone comes out with Chicken Chewies. Doesn't that sound fantastic?

2. There are two kinds of people in the world: those that go to someone's house and use the bar of soap that's in the shower and already in use by the host (sequentially, not simultaneously), and those that bring and use their own. I am of the latter category. I've no interest in pulling hairs from other people off the soap I'm considering applying to myself. Ew.

I've been informed that everyone falls into the former category and I'm just plain wrong. So, are you people completely disgusting or am I right?

3. If your house is less than 3,000 square feet:

a) It probably doesn't need statuary or fountains. I'm not talking about the small frog or Buddha in the garden. I'm talking about the 20' tall plaster statue of Woman with Lute that's takes up half of the front lawn. Scale people. It's a principle we can all embrace.

b) It doesn't need a name. It may be Twin Oaks to you but it's just another house on Elm to the rest of us.
4. When driving past a field with at least one bale of hay, it is always funny and never annoying to point and shout out "Hay!"

33 comments:

Fearless in Toronto said...

You are absolutely, positively, 100% correct about the soap.

Bilbo said...

We're all completely disgusting. Aren't you glad you asked?

LBluca77 said...

I have never even thought about bringing my own soap. I just figure thesoap owners gunk and stuff will just wash off my body in the shower.

I'm gross.

Narm said...

But I put that hair in there especially for my guests! We'll see if you get any hair in the soap next time you come to visit.

Liebchen said...

I don't usually use the soap, but not for the gross factor - just because there's usually body wash there, too.

Also, in conjunction with the "hay" comment. Whenever my dad drives past a field that has cows (I grew up about half an hour from an Amish area), he moos at them. That's right. Moos.

Lemmonex said...

I have accidentally made chicken chewies...not so good.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

You can get an "Amen" from me on the soap thing. I never use other people's soap. I don't know where it's been. Er, well, I do. But that's the problem.

Add me to the supposedly "plain wrong" column. And frankly, when you come to visit me, please bring your own soap. I'm just sayin'...

Jamie said...

Soap is too much of a pain to carry around in a toilet kit. I'm the former kind. But at the same time, people that leave the bar of soap in the shower with lots of hairs on it are definitely gross. If you find yourself using a shower where this is a consistent problem, consider a hotel.

I also get annoyed when people don't turn the valve back to "tub" after they finish showering. But that's just me.

Kate said...

I bring my own body wash. Using bar soap makes me gag. Even if it's just me. And I'm of the "Hay!" variety. At least once an hour.

Herb of DC said...

"Hay look at my chewy soap in the fountain at Las Goiters!"

rs27 said...

I thought soap was a self cleansing product.

f.B said...

people who use borrowed soap are on borrowed time. nothing says "hygiene nightmare" like bathing with a ball of unfamiliar pubes.

Mike said...

2. So if you're at somebody's house and you go potty and there's only bar soap to wash your hands???? And there's a hair on it. And it's short and curly.

3b. My house now has a name - "Asphalt Drive".

singlikesassy said...

Ew to the soap thing. Just ew ew ew. Even Mr. SLS and I use separate suds creating stuff. He says my stuff smells too girly.

singlikesassy said...

You used soap-users, do you use other's toothbrushes, too? That is the most disgusting thing I have ever encountered. Ever. :::feeling woozy just thinking about my pink toothbrush in some other person's mouth:::

Jamie said...

@singlikesassy, only if I have already had something else of mine in their mouth.

Katherine said...

I steal hotel soap specifically so I can BYMOS when house guesting. Otherwise, it's just nasty.

Barbara said...

I'm totally with you on the soap. Sharing soap is in the same category as sharing deodorant. I saw EWWWW! to both of them.

I've given up on food on the road. I just take my own so I can avoid complaining about the high-priced junk available for purchase.

fiona said...

I take my own shower gel. Soap sucks.
Given my profession if I did the Hay thing I'd be certified insane. I do however shout "sheep"...no idea why

Asphodel said...

Thanks Fiona! Soap does suck, mostly coz its almost 2009 all we're all futuristic.
It's time we all muse if guests dare to use our loofahs in fact!!!!
I sometimes shout sheep too. Actually I don't, it just sounded like a nice tongue twister :-D

Gilahi said...

I look forward to those rare occasions when I get to shout "llama!" or "ostrich!".

Regardez Moi said...

I'm a 'same soap' user. Gross, huh? But like, it's soap. It's already clean... you know, because it's soap. That's what I tell myself anyway.

This is my first time on your blog - came here through Your Beard is Good. Love it!

Matt said...

One should always bring their own soap.

Nuff said.

LiLu said...

You couldn't pay me enough to touch someone's else's bar of soap. I'm not even sure I could share one with B, which is kind of funny, considering... that I'm me.

Additionally, Slug a Bug never gets old either.

lacochran said...

Fearless in Toronto, J.M. Tewkesbury, f.B, SingLikeSassy, Katherine, Barbara, Matt, Lilu: Thank you!

Fearless in Toronto: That's my favorite thing, ever! (The being right part.)

Bilbo: I sorta suspected...

LBluca77: Gross but clearly in good (gross) company.

Narm: You mean they'll let me back into Cleveland? Huh.

Liebchen: I'm met a lot of Mooers in my day. I'm not sure what causes it but it is delightful.

Lemmonex: Really? Chicken chewies seems like a no-brainer. Maybe I'll try the brain next time.

Jaime: Not just you. I've had many an unexpected blast of shower water on my head because of that.

Kate: Hay! :) It's totally funny. Every single time!

Herb of DC: Well, as long as you pick a classy name for your abode...

Rs27: You'd think but not so much.

Mike: Who uses the hand soap on the sink to wash their crotch? No, don't tell me. I'd rather keep my illusions.

SingLikeSassy, Barbara: Great analogy. And, ew.

Jaime: You mean, like, gum, right?

Katherine: It's not stealing if they wrap it up and leave it out, special-like, for you.

Fiona: Because sheep are awesome cool?

Asphodel: Does Susie shout "sheep" while shearing at the seashore?

Gilahi: Or Alpacabou! (The rare cross between an Alpaca and a Caribou. Adorable.)

Regardez Moi: Thanks for stopping by, you gross person, you. :)

LiLu: Ooo, and reading every road sign! That's not even a little bit annoying.

Katherine said...

Happy New Year back attcha!

Brett said...

Thanks for the New Year's wishes- you too!!!

Arjewtino said...

You bring your own soap to people's homes?

You're either a genius or completely insane.

Queenie said...

i completely agree with you...no soap! not only would i never use someone else's soap, i wouldn't use their towels either. i would hope, as good hostesses, they would have those disposable paper guest towels. i would NEVER use someone's towel. GROSS!

Asphodel said...

Heh. Almost tripped on my tongue. Almost! :-D

Jamie said...

What do you guys do if you have to use the restroom at someone's house and they happen to have bar soap for the sink? GROSS!! I bet having to sit on someone else's toilet seat really grinds your gears, too.

How did people ever get by before the invention of liquid soap???

lacochran said...

I had no idea this was such a flash point issue.

Arjewtino: Why can't I be both? Fine line, my friend. Fine line.

Queenie: I'd hope they'd give me a freshly laundered towel for the shower.

Asphodel: :)

Jamie: People do different things at the sink than they do in the shower. Well, I do. I can't speak for you. Note to self: Do not use any soap in Jamie's house.

Jamie said...

No worries! I don't have any soap in my house. I'm an environmentalist. Well, actually I just really need to go to the store, but I'm sticking with the environmentalist story.

Running water is also sporadic. I wish I was kidding. Stupid endless plumbing projects.