18 December 2008

"As the hours turn, you can hear them" --Hothouse Flowers

[I can't explain it either.]

Here's a seasonal peeve. I know it's not much longer but, jeez louise...

How come you have to pay to have the Salvation Army person stop ringing that bell? And how much do you have to pay to get them to stop forever?! Can we get a collection going?

I can't be the only person who has fantasies about ripping that bell out of the Salvation Army drone's hand and flinging it farther than Dane Cook ever could. How is this noise pollution allowed?! There's got to be an ordinance that could apply here!

And wouldn't you think they'd try to ring a little softer as you get closer? But, no! They get more aggressive with the damn thing!

It would be different if they had the whole band there or if the person was playing a little tune on a set of bells.

Or if it was cowbell. Because the world needs more cowbell!

But, no.

For the love of all things holy, MAKE IT STOP!


LBluca77 said...

No shit! Can't they just put out a sign? There is no need to ring the bell of annoyance. Some of us might be hungover.

f.B said...

"doing the most good?" really? and that requires, or is otherwise enabled, by dressing like a storm trooper?

fiona said...

*puts bell down*
*hangs head in shame*

Liebchen said...

Thankfully, I have not passed by ANY bell ringers this season.

Although, now that I've said that, I'm sure I'll pass, like, five on my way home from work.

Mike said...

Be careful what you wish for with the cowbell thing.

Kate said...

I flash them some boob.

Stops them every time.

It's my little holiday treat for them. And um... the gals like it too.

Narm said...

*Reads Kate's comment*


D.C. Confidential said...

To quote Quasimodo: "The bells! The bellssssss!"

Bilbo said...

Hey, don't knock it...they could be using those stupid air horns that morons blow at sporting events. I'd rather hear a pleasant ding, ding, ding thaN a loud BLAAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!! when I walk past.

Herb of DC said...

I don't mind them but I'm also getting to be very hard of hearing.

Ibid said...

I don't like the Salvation Army in general. They're bigoted about which poor people they help, they use their "charity" as a club to beat people with their religion, much of the donations go to lobbying the government to exempt them from anti-discrimination laws, and NOW they're firing one of their leaders for marrying someone who isn't a Salvation Army employee.

I keep a jar for the month of December and put my change in there. At the end of the month I write a check for that much to a favorite secular charity. Because fuck the Salvation Army.

Sean said...

"And how much do you have to pay to get them to stop forever?! Can we get a collection going?"

Count me in!

Gilahi said...

The Giant near my office has a guy that not only rings the bell, but wants to engage you in conversation as well. "Good morning sir! That's a great jacket. Do you ride motorcycles? You look like a biker. Have a great day!"

All this is being shouted over the bell ringing, which he never stops.

I just want to beat him to death with a Christmas tree.

Matt said...

Kate just solved this problem for you.

I really hope her idea catches on.

Barbara said...

I can't imagine why they bother. No one deals in cash anymore and last I looked they weren't taking plastic.

lacochran said...

LBluca77: Indeed! A little respect for the hungover is not too much to ask.

f.B: Your guess is as good as mine.

Fiona: Oh, darling, say it isn't so!

Liebchen: I need to move to your neighborhood. Somewhere where they've given up on salvation.

Mike: I've got a fever and the only prescription... is more cowbell!

Kate: Okay, I just need you along everywhere I go. Please arrange that.

Narm: I'm sure she'd be happy to ring your bell.

D.C. Confidential: I had a hunch somebody would mention that.

Bilbo: Sorry, I had broccoli for lunch. Won't happen again.

Herb of DC: My father used to turn down his hearing aid if he was bored with a conversation.

Ibid: Yeah!

Sean: *passes hat*

Gilahi: Now, that I would pay money to see.

Matt: Yes, I just need to have Kate with me at all times. I'm okay with that.

Barbara: Yeah, it makes no sense.

Katherine said...

You know, for some reason I find that picture hilarious and my internal geek would demand I RUN to the nearest cash machine to get a $20 to put in that bucket.

lacochran's evil twin said...

But then you'd hear that damn bell and think better of it.

Maybe that's me.

We look a lot alike.