12 December 2008

Assorted Friday Flotsam

Yeah, it's Friday, so we're a little more laid back and interactive today. You can wear your flannel with the butt flap but please keep it buttoned.* Pull up any chair you like. But leave the couch for Fiona, please. She called it.**

Who wants to share first? Anybody?

How about I give you a topic? Shaken or stirred?


Um, whoever brought the crickets? Check with me next time, okay? They keep jumping into the ChexMix.

Alright, here's some flotsam. Maybe something in it will spur you to respond.***

  • Speaking of bugs, Sunday, we were eating at a restaurant that will remain nameless when a bug the size of a jumbo, plump, delicious raisin--if said jumbo, plump delicious raisin had legs--strolled across the table. We called the waitress over and she scooped it up, wordlessly, in her hand and took it away. And I guess I prefer her scooping it up to squishing it in front of me but, well, I hope she washed her hands. Who knows. Maybe she didn't squish it at all. Maybe it's her pet. "Lenny! I told you to stay in the kitchen!"
Lenny was not this cute:

  • I happened upon a new show on G4. It's called "Human Wrecking Balls" and that's what it is: A TV show with two brothers who use their bodies to destroy stuff. Maybe it's my pesky second X chromosome but I'm having a little trouble seeing the quality entertainment potential.
  • I saw a hawk this past weekend in a tree about six feet away and it brought to mind the idea that some folks have that a sudden sighting of an animal or bird is an indication of a spirit guide. What I thought: Human beings are the most self-absorbed creatures on the Earth to believe that everything, even the animals and birds around us, are living their lives in some specific way only to serve us. 'Cause it's always all about us.
  • I can't see a car carrier in the lane in front of me without imagining a car flying off it. Am I the only one who has this thought? I think I've seen too many action movies. Speaking of which, we just saw Iron Man, which was significantly better than I expected. Also saw You Don't Mess With the Zohan which wasn't actiony at all but was as silly as I expected.
  • Have you noticed that everyone is saying "It is what it is"? That's bad enough but I catch myself saying it, too. A lot. Apparently everything is what it is to me. And, really, what the hell does that mean? Of course, it is what it is. It's also what you make it. Whatever the hell that means.
  • When people have multiple air fresheners hanging from their rear-view mirror I wonder what the heck happened in that vehicle to funk it up so completely that a simple airing out couldn't fix it...? My bet is it involved cat pee. That's a forever smell. Or are these people just addicted to the smell of pine?

*You know I don't mind but we've gotten complaints. In writing. On official lawyer-type letterhead.

**Remember when you were little and you could "call" things and other kids were all "well, there was nothing I could do, she called it"? How weird was that?

***No, I'm not doing that thing with my tongue again so stop asking.


charlotteharris said...

I think people say "It is what it is" when "it" is not everything we hoped for. Like in my recent past, people (myself included) have said "it is what it is" about a relationship that is fulfilling but so obviously temporary.

Bilbo said...

You could say, "It is what it isn't," but that wouldn't make any sense, would it? Of course, it would be a marvelous starting point for a PhD dissertation in metaphysics...

Kristin said...

I totally picture cars flying off the carrier and landing right in front of (or on top of) me. Especially when they get all bouncy.

Lemmonex said...

I think people with multiple air freshners are just lazy--it takes too much effort to remove the old ones.

fiona said...

Thank you for the couch dear...appreciated.

restaurantrefugee said...

At the end of the day, "it is what it is" is as useless a phrase as "at the end of the day."

One need not be monochromosonal to think Human Wrecking Balls to be a slow motion train wreck.

When I am behind the car carriers I wonder if I have the skills to drive off one.

Liebchen said...

I also think about what would happen if one of those cars came off the carrier. I kind of check to see which way I could swerve.

Also, when I drive next to a truck, I get nervous about the tire treads coming off. It happened once and scared the crap out of me.

Kate said...

I am terrified of car carriers. I get all sweaty when I have to pass them.

f.B said...

Iron Man has been escaping me for months now. time to make a commitment

"it is what it is" rose to fame after the contestants on the first season of Top Chef used it more often than their Glad tupperware. (at least that's what i tell people when they ask me to do my Wikipedia impression)

and my word verification is "fresser." which reads like someone drunkenly slurring "Fran Drescher"

rs27 said...

Rear view mirror freshners are so 1996. It's all about hiding the freshner under the seats.

Hidden smell goods?


Katherine said...

Watch Wrecking Balls while intoxicated. Then you'll understand.

Gilahi said...

You don't like crickets in your Chex mix? They're pure protein and they're crunchy. Plus they add delightful sounds to a boring party.

Jon said...

Aphorisms in general are overused, although I'm not sure if "it is what it is" counts. My old boss was the best, my favorite one of his was "that guy needs to take a flying leap through a rolling donut"

LiLu said...

I absolutely LOVE this:

"Have you noticed that everyone is saying "It is what it is"? That's bad enough but I catch myself saying it, too. A lot. Apparently everything is what it is to me. And, really, what the hell does that mean? Of course, it is what it is. It's also what you make it. Whatever the hell that means."

It's so poignant it's making my head hurt.

LBluca77 said...

I never hear anyone saying It is what it is. Oh great now I am going to.

I hate when people have the new car smell car fresheners and they are driving a car from 1987.

Reya Mellicker said...

I saw a hawk recently, too. Apparently they're making a comeback in the Washington area.

It's significant to see one, though I'm sure for the hawk it's just another day of hunting. What's amazing about our species is that we can take meaning from so many different experiences. Is that self-absorbed? I don't see it that way.

Now - back to the crickets.

Mike said...

"Have you noticed that everyone is saying "It is what it is"?"

Yes I have and all I can say is, "It is what it is".

(15 comments and no one jumped on this)

J.M. Tewkesbury said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J.M. Tewkesbury said...

You mean to tell me that the picture I took of the eagle on Whidbey Island last week wasn't put there to speak to my spirit?! Sheesh, LA. Thanks for shattering my faith. Now what am I gonna do?

fattylumpa said...

Seeing a car carrier on the highway (or on any road, really) ALWAYS gives me the heebie jeebies. I get as far away from it as I possibly can, and I can't breathe easy (or really, breathe at all) until I do.


Malnurtured Snay said...

Zohan was great. I got laughed at a lot at work for saying I thought it was a great parable about people coming together despite their religious and political backgrounds, but the truth is, hidden amongst the slapstick antics, there's some deep political wishin' going on.

Barbara said...

I can identify with so much in this post. I always worry about things flying off of trucks -- cars, lumber, garbage -- and either coming through my windshield or obscuring it to the point where I can only crash. I always thought that was too weird to admit, but I guess I'm more normal than I thought. I also had the same thought about air fresheners wherever I find them. There's a rat somewhere that is being covered up. Some people are forever squirting room freshener into the air; I find that incredibly annoying. I'm thinking they must fart a lot.

Great post!

lacochran said...

CharlotteHarris: Yeah, but do they say it 20 times a day? :)

Bilbo: Get crackin'! That idea has you written all over it.

Kristin: I thought I might not be the only one. Yeah, bouncy can be bad.

Lemmonex: You may be right. Never thought of that.

Fiona: Anytime.

RestaurantRefugee: "When I am behind the car carriers I wonder if I have the skills to drive off one." Like that old commercial line: "stay within the lines."

Liebchen: Tire tread flying? Yeah, that's sounds bad.

Kate: I give them a wide berth, too.

f.B: Maybe blogger *is* a bunch of Jews as someone suggested recently... "fresser" is Yiddish for glutton.

Rs27: I had no idea. Thanks for keeping us current.

Katherine: ...mebbe.

Gilahi: All that white meat doesn't work well without gravy.

Jon: A flying leap through a rolling donut? I like that. Very old school.

Lilu: Sorry about the headache. Take two drinks and call me in the morning.

LBluca77: It's preferable to the cat pee smell.

Reya: Suppose we saw the same hawk? What do you suppose it means? :)

Mike: Congratulations, I guess.

J.M.Tewkesbury: Keep company with rest of us shattered, faithless types?

Fattylumpa: There's so many of us avoiding them it's a wonder we don't run into each other.

MalnurturedSnay: Wishing, yes. Reality, no.

Barbara: Check the list of comments. You are in good company. And, thanks!