07 December 2008

"Feliz Navidad" -- Jose Feliciano, singing the only decent Christmas song

We are invited to a 'holiday' party Saturday night.* We walk in and the place is already crowded. We locate the host and he welcomes us.

He then invites me to play "find the pickle".

My reaction:


As you can imagine, this is not the first time a man has suggested this game to me. Well, okay, it is. In that particular terminology.

Turns out there's some German tradition of getting a pickle ornament and putting it somewhere on the Christmas tree for others to locate. News to me. Those wacky Germans.

I go over to the rather large tree that is packed with ornaments and do a scan.*** A boy of about eight walks up next to me.

Boy: Are you looking for the pickle?
Me: Yes.
Boy: I know where it is.
Me: You do?
Boy: Yes.
Me: I haven't spotted it yet... Where is it?
Boy: I can see it right now.
Me, trying to match my line of sight to his: You can?
Boy: I'm staring right at it.
Me, getting irritated: You are?
Boy: Yes.
Me, tempted to headbutt the child out of the way: You've got a clear line of sight on it, huh?
Second boy walks up: Are you looking for the pickle?
First boy: She is.
Second boy, in a bored tone: I can see it.
First boy: I know. Wanna play hockey?
Second boy: Okay.
Me: Wait! Where's the pickle?!
First boy: You see the letter?
Me, scanning until I find a letter ornament: Letter... letter... Yes!
First boy, rolling his eyes: It's right next to that.
Me: Um...
First boy, with an exaggerated sigh: Way in the back.

It still takes me another minute to find it because the pickle is not a standard pickle green but the sickly bright green of a thousand irradiated pickles that have been dipped in clear coat to add an unhealthy shine. It is behind other ornaments next to the core of the tree.

The boys run off.

Someone walks up next to me.

Me, smugly: Looking for the pickle?



* People say 'holiday' when what they mean is their holiday: Christmas. But, fine. A party is a party. And this party had cocktail shrimp the size of my hand.**

** I once had a roommate who could not fathom the idea that some people did not celebrate Christmas. She kept insisting "Everyone celebrates Christmas." Me: "Um, actually, no." It's in the name, people.

*** It's not something I put on my resume but I am quite the whiz at finding the hidden objects in the Highlights magazine puzzle. I can even find the comb! I kick butt at the pediatrician's office.

18 comments:

Mike said...

You can kick all the butt you want. Just don't kick the pickle.

f.B said...

reminds me of that sailboat picture thing in Mallrats. then again, a lot of things remind me of something in that movie.

oh, and "This Christmas" by Donny Hathaway is totally worth many listens as Christmas songs go.

LBluca77 said...

Now I have a hankering for pickles.

Kristin said...

I'm a Santa Baby girl, myself. Sounds like an interesting night, though. I had no idea about "find the pickle."

Fearless in Toronto said...

I thought that game was called "hide the pickle".

It seems like a bad idea to hide perishable food items.

Matt said...

you know, I really like pickles.

they are pretty delcious.

I dont know if I would put them on a tree or not.

well...who am I kidding. Of course I would.

Bilbo said...

It's easier when they use big fat Kosher deli pickles rather than the scrawny little cornichons. And, by the way, I've been married to a German for 26 years, have lived in Germany for nearly 10 of those, and have never heard of a German tradition of hiding a pickle on the Christmas tree. Now, invading France, that's a German tradition with which I'm familiar. I just wish they were better at it.

zandria said...

Sounds like quite the wacky game, for sure! I bet my roommate would like it. She's big into Christmas and decorating and such -- it took her 3-4 hours to put up a tree last week.

Narm said...

Aaaaaand I have a new pickup line at the bar. It has to work better than, "I'm a blogger."

fiona said...

Did you even get a prize? Seems like an awful lot of work "pickle hunting" for no prize...LMAO at the rodent

Kate said...

This would be why someone gave me an irridescent pickle ornament.

Hmmm.....

The possibilities.

Doug said...

When I go to renassaince fests... the pickle lady is always my favorite. Apparently she plays hide the pickle too!

Petraruns said...

Found you on Peter's website - great blog. Wise-ass kids always turn me into mean old lady.. Show me the (*&(^*&*% pickle or I'll throttle you!

Herb of DC said...

Hiding a pickle in your tree is so 2007. This year I hid my Hannah Montana ornament.

Herb of DC said...

On the Today Show this morning they featured a yodelling pickle. I thought you would want to know.

http://www.stupid.com/fun/EYOD.html

lacochran said...

Special thanks to Urban Bohemian and DC Blogs for linking to this post. :)

Mike: No pickle kicking. Got it.

f.B: Yeah, and Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You doesn't totally suck either, come to think of it.

LBluca77: Oh, like that's something new.

Kristin: Yeah, that's got the right holiday spirit. ;)

Fearless in Toronto: So true. Should the FDA issue a warning? Thanks for stopping by.

Matt: Who wouldn't?! You'd have to be a little crazy not to.

Bilbo: I bow to the expert. Just going on what they said. Maybe we should check Snopes.

Zandria: By all means, give her the pickle. I mean a pickle.

Narm: Everything works better than "I'm a blogger." ... so I've heard.

Fiona: No prize. Just smugness. The rodent is a prairie dog mislabeled a chipmunk.

Kate: Well, that's one explanation of many.

Doug: I guess you'd know.

Petraruns: I was a bit irked. :) Thanks for stopping by.

Herb of DC: You: 2 kewl.

Herb of DC Redux: $15 for a yodeling pickle? This may replace ChiaPet!

Lisa said...

The pickle I've never heard of. Years ago I had a German boyfriend, and I went home for Christmas with him one year. He convinced me that one of their Christmas traditions was doing the "duck dance" around the tree. Oh, those wacky Germans! (Oh, gullible American!)

lacochran said...

Lisa: *snort!* I hope the camera was locked and loaded for that one!