"Fools give you reasons, wise men never try" --Rogers & Hammerstein

[A Belly Button Brush. Keepin' it clean, folks.]


I've been thinking about the Belly Button Theory lately. Why? Because, invariably, a day or two after I attend a party, I realize I have, once again, failed to check out this theory in action when I was there. It isn't my theory (read: so, really, how good a theory can it be?) but I do like theories, for the most part. Especially, ones named for body parts.

The Belly Button Theory states that, in a social situation where people self-configure (not assigned seating), that regardless of who a man is talking to or standing with or nibbling on, even, he'll orient his belly button in the direction of the person to which he's most attracted.

Here's my thinking on this:

First, I'll bet "Belly Button Theory" is the polite name and that it really refers to where a different part of his anatomy is pointing.*

Second, I don't think I buy it.

I do think you can tell a lot about people by the way they orient their bodies in relation to other people. In fact, a regular game of mine is to try to predict the success of a WaPo DateLab match-up by how the couple looks in the candid picture(s) before I ingest a single word of the write-up. Do they look like they're enjoying being near each other? Are they touching? Do they have matching expressions (Do they both look goofy/happy/whatever?) And you can get a feel for some of that looking at how people are configured at parties.

That said, I think I have detected that frisson from men who have sat next to me or stood at an acute angle, regardless of where they, and their buttons, are facing. I still vote for proximity over button direction. But, as I said, my research is limited. So, clue me in...

Question du jour: Do you buy into the Belly Button Theory?



* I know what I'm thinking, what are you thinking?**

** Spleen? Really? You're going with that answer?

Fall in to the Gap

I haven't shopped in a GAP store in years but this weekend I found myself with extra time and a GAP gift credit burning a hole in my wallet so I went to the GAP in Fair Oaks Mall and decided to see if I could spend that credit.

I picked out a few things to try on and headed to the dressing room where I found a brilliant idea inside:





There, on the wall, was a call button that read "another size? different color? press here".

I was flabbergasted!

You mean I didn't have to get totally dressed again, gather up all my stuff and hike back to the racks to change my Small sweater to a Medium?

You mean as soon as I had my top half-way pulled up over my head, I didn't have to hear a saleswoman bang on the door and demand to know "How's it going in there?!?" with all the charm of an INS agent about to do a raid?

You mean I didn't have to get into discussions on style with a seventeen-year-old sales girl who'd rather keep texting her friends than help me? How many times have I experienced the following:

"Hello? ...HelloOOoo?"
"Did you need something?"
"Hi. Can I get this in a larger size, please?"
"That looks good on you. Great color." She says, looking at her nails.
"Um, it spans across here."
"Yeah..."
"Um, can you get me a larger size, please? This really doesn't look good."
"Um, I wear them like that."
"Ummm..."

Well, maybe the button won't solve that problem.

But it will get you salesperson attention only when you request it. Such a simple and wonderful thing! Kudos to the GAP!

Why isn't this button in every dressing room in America? Inquiring minds want to know!