01 July 2009

"Tartlet. Tartlet. Tartlet. That word has lost all meaning."

Have you noticed how the term "salad" has lost all meaning?

Well, Webster's says it has meaning:

1: any of various usu. cold dishes: as a: raw greens (as lettuce) often combined with other vegetables and toppings and served especially with dressing b: small pieces of food (as pasta, meat, fruit, or vegetables) usually mixed with a dressing (as mayonnaise) or set in gelatin*

Oh, that clears it right up.

It's about temperature. But it's not. It's about greens. But it's not. It's about what it's dressed with. But it's not. It's about size.** But it's not. It's about suspension.*** But it's not.

English is such a specific language. Except when it's not.

At some point, somebody had to point to something that wasn't a salad prior to that moment in history and say "Prithee, Squire, passeth me the ...salad!" and somebody passed what he was pointing to and danged if the roast beast on dandelion greens didn't become a salad.

How about we lump soup and dessert in under "salad" and call it a day?

At my next physical, when the doctor asks about my diet, I'm going to tell him the truth: "Hand to god, Doc, every meal I eat is salad."

* Webster doesn't even mention fish but I've seen plenty of fish salads. And taco salads. And...

** That's what she said!

*** And why is there always room for Jello? Is it the compression factor?


Titania said...

Sala is complicated. It may be a feelings salad too, and then we are in real trouble.

Now, edible salad, to me, is what I eat when I feel guilty of eating too much highly caloric stuff. That is, something cold (not sure why, but the temperature is important), with fruits and non-starchy vegetables that will have me starving within 30 minutes.

rachaelgking said...

I did NOT giggle at taco salad.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Nice LiLu.

Maybe salad should just be described as green, protein or sex.

kelsi said...

Lilu may not have giggled, but I totally did.
Who would have thought that salad would be laden with so much "that's what she said" potential?

Bilbo said...

Let's not forget the salad bar. Why did someone mess up a perfectly good bar by including salad? Lettuce and beer just don't mix.

vw - adshedog: a bitch who acts in commercials.

Matt said...

Lilu nailed this one.

Mike said...

Hey, I learned something new today.

Wv: gardityl - As in - You gardityl I go get a salad.

Kate said...

Pish posh on the salad. I want some MEAT.

Barbara said...

You are so right about this. Because salad has come to be synonymous with DIET, I think most people have extended the concept to include things (like roast beef, fried chicken, even duck confit (Restaurant Eve)) that would otherwise have been on the prohibited list.

And how did fruit get to be a salad???

Cyndy said...

Prithee Squire, please passeth me the TACO SALAD!!! Har Har Har!

For the record, I am disgusted by jello with things suspended in it. I refuse to call that a salad. Clear? Jello needs to be clear, I say.

Sean said...

I object to anything called a salad that is "set in gelatin." That sounds terrible.

wv: kront. Lil' John might like this one.

Gilahi said...

Wow, Sean. MY mother used to call it "congealed salad".

And we ATE it.


Mike said...

It's the next day and Lilu's comment is still fresh in my mind. Like a taco salad.

lacochran said...

Titania: So "non-filling" and "guilt assuaging" are key components.

LiLu: Thanks for classing up the joint.

Little Ms Blogger: Might as well.

kelsi: Not me. But I'm often out of the loop.

Bilbo: "Lettuce and beer just don't mix." Words to live by.

Matt: I set 'em up... she knocks 'em down.

Mike: There's always a first.

Kate: But there are meat salads! Any fast food place will have 'em.

Barbara: There was an interesting study that showed that some of the fast food salads are worse items for you, diet-wise, than the whoppers and such. It's on the internet so it must be true.

Cyndy: Good luck pummeling jello into submission. It's awfully squishy.

Sean: Your objection is noted.

Gilahi: Counselor, the bench isn't clear if you are trying to overrule the objection or support it...

Mike: Speaking of TMI...

Narm said...

Salads are the devil's food.

No wait, those are deviled eggs.

Salads are the devil's appetizer.

lacochran said...

Narm: I like devil's food cake. Wait, what?

Andhari said...

lol you're funny, jello with the sa;ad?:D Wonder why eating only salad will make me pissed.

lacochran said...

Andhari: Lack of satisfaction?