Mercury Marauder

I was on the road yesterday evening when I was passed by a Mercury Marauder. That's right, a Marauder.

I imagine the Ford sales and marketing meeting that brought this gem into being...

"We're doing fair with most demographics but we just can't seem to make any headway with the pillagers."

"Yeah, our numbers are weak on the plunderers, too."

"If only we could find some way to appeal to roving bands of ne'er-do-wells..."

"Hmm, how about THE MARAUDER?!"

"I like it! It's edgy yet traditional... violent in a classy, historical way..."

"Maybe we can throw in a free mace in place of the cupholder..."

A few months later, across town, the Chevy people hold a similar meeting...

"Have you heard about the Mercury Marauder? We've got to get on this--NOW!"

"We've always appealed to a younger, hipper, more urban crowd than those Ford dweebs. We can do this!"

"All right... let's all think..."


Let's face it... it's only a matter of time until we see the Chevy Looter on the road.