"So I might steal your diamonds, I'll bring you back some gold" --Gregg Allman

First, I've been taking a lot lately. I've been greedily grabbing up the goods. I've practically shouted like Daffy Duck "Mine! Mine! Mine!"

In the last few months, I've gotten a Nintendo DSi (which I play with every day!) thanks to LiLu, a pair of fabulous Gap jeans thanks to PQ, a yummy Hershey's with Almonds thanks to Spleeness, and a $20 Amazon gift card (which I've already spent with abandon) thanks to Just A Girl. Thank you all!! You rock!

Bloggers? They are in large part givers! And when I say they, I mean you! But, even better than the great swag, you give of yourselves. You share what's in your heart. You offer kindness and wit and insights daily. And for that, I heart you all!

Okay, enough with the shmoopyness.

While we're talking about taking and giving...

I was once in a relationship with a guy who told me a number of times that he thought I gave to him more than he gave to me. Yeah, I'm not in that relationship any more. Because it's all about me, right? Me, me, me.*

People say in an ideal relationship that both parties give and give and give. Or they say that both parties give but give in different ways. Mmmmmaybe. I look around and in most of the relationships I see, there is give and take but there's also often a clear giver and a clear taker. You know? 60/40 or 70/30 even. Now before you get your back up, let me say that I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If it works for the people involved, great.

Which leads me to the question of the day: Are you the giver or the taker most of the time in your relationship(s)?** And whichever role you're in, are you cool with that?

(Come on, you know you want to give me your answer.)



* Or you. Either way. You know. Doesn't matter. *rolls eyes*

** And if you still insist your dead even, then you are probably the giver.

"Everybody's talkin' at me" --Harry Nillson

[Ouch.]


Yesterday was a blur and today shows signs of being icky*, too, so let's keep this brief, hm?

I know people that read the blogs of everyone who reads their blog. I also know people that state "Read what you want to read, period."

The questions du jour: Do you read everyone that reads you? Do you read only the blogs that entertain you?

Unrelated bonus question because you look so gosh darn cute in that outfit today: Do you feel cheated when the first square or two of toilet paper gets shredded when you try to start the roll?

Yet another unrelated super bonus question because your hair smells terrific: When you hear commercials for the inhaler Spiriva, do you think "Spiriva... great device for helping people breathe" or do you think "Spiriva... I think I got a nasty case of that when I ate some bad oysters"?



* Technical jargon. Feel free to be in awe.

"We share a cast of characters from A to Z" --Carly Simon

It's been a while since I've waxed philosophical... so... let's kick this around some...

I don't think I'd sleep with a blogger.

You know, I mean I wouldn't sleep with a blogger if I were single and looking to sleep with someone, which I am not. So, to rephrase: Theoretically speaking, I wouldn't sleep with a blogger.

Don't get me wrong. Bloggers are a sexy bunch. At least the ones I know IRL. For real, have you seen these people, People?

And saying I wouldn't sleep with one... well, I know that's a harsh thing to say. I guess that makes me an anti-blogite. And an egoist to think I'd draw that kind of attention. And a self-loathing hypocrite, being that I have met the enemy and I are us.

Plus, I AM sleeping with a blogger (which is about as intimate as I'm going to get on this blog.) But, then, he wasn't a blogger when I met him. And he has a high level of discretion which seems to be a rare commodity these days. I think that's really the gist of what I'm getting at. The reason I wouldn't theoretically sleep with a blogger is because I wouldn't want intimate details (good or bad) discussed on said blogger's blog. And, by and large, bloggers do discuss. Oh, yes, yes, they do.

Now, one could argue that if you don't trust someone not to relay intimate details about you on their blog, you surely shouldn't sleep with them. Perhaps. Still, I've seen a lot of intimate details on blogs. A lot. From people I respect. And, I've even seen after-the-breakup revenge posts. Not pretty. Entertaining, sure. But I'm not the target.

Because, let's face it, part of the joy of blogging is sharing things you might not share in other venues. And part of the joy of reading blogs is finding some of those insights into people that you might not get in other ways. Voyeur? Sure. So please don't think I'm passing judgment if you share more on your blog than I choose to share on mine. It's just got me thinking.

In keeping with the GIAT*, this past Sunday, humor columnist, Gene Weingarten's brilliant column in the WaPo was a very intimate, bittersweet account of his father's decline. In it, he says, "Not everything that happens in a writer's life is appropriate to publish...". That premise, coupled with some very personal, dramatic, and I can only assume, horribly true blog posts I've read recently got me thinking about what is appropriate to publish on a blog.

And leads to a variety of dicey questions du jour: Are there things you definitely won't write about on your blog? Would knowing that someone had a blog make you more wary of getting involved with them?

Discuss.


PS Yes, I recognize the irony of posting a blog about who I would or wouldn't sleep with when discussing what's appropriate to share.


*GIAT = Global Interconnectedness of All Things.

"I couldn't close my eyes 'cause you were on my mind" -- 5th Dimension

I have a confession. I think of you sometimes late at night. Not every night. Just some nights. When I'm in bed. It's late and I'm trying to go to sleep but you're in my head. TMI?*

That is to say, while you are getting a bad case of pillowface, I am thinking of an idea to post about that may amuse you. Then, I wonder if I'll remember it in the morning. So, I reach for the pad and pen that are on my night table for just this purpose and, in the dark, I jot down a few key words. So, come morning, it'll trigger bleary-eyed me to remember what I was thinking about as I was drifting off.

Here's last night's gems:


Yeah, that's a great big FAIL. Make sure your pen is actually writing before you trust your midnight squiggles to it.

So, if this post isn't all it should be, let's agree to blame the pen, shall we?**

I think what I wanted to say was that reading a blog is like taking ice core samples. (You probably already got that from my notes.) And by "ice core samples", I mean what I make up about taking ice core samples because I know nothing about taking ice core samples. Maybe less than nothing. But why mess up a perfectly good analogy with pesky facts?

[Don't get nervous, I will not be taking out my ruler.]

You're still here? Huh. That's nice. And always a little surprising.

Anyway, here's what I was thinking...

When you read someone's blog regularly you get samples of them. Core samples. They're deep but not broad.

You don't really know much about what's happening on the surface. You don't see the animal tracks. You don't know how many acres the ice is covering. You just know a few random deep drills where you get a keen insight on what's happening at the core and maybe some of the layers in between.

So it's more biopsy than plain old microscope viewing. Maybe, over time, you get enough samples to put together a little kaleidoscope.*** And you get a little intimacy and a little connection with people you may have absolutely nothing else in common with and with whom you would have no other way of knowing about their really nice cores. And that can be quite beautiful.


****


* Sometimes I dress you in funny outfits. Is that wrong?

** Note to self: Astronaut pen real?

*** I'll bet you thought I couldn't get there.

**** Ice art credit: Dr. Peter Wasilewski.

"You can't always get what you want..." --The Rolling Stones

If you've said to yourself, "Hey, that Lacochran sure has it going on. Wish I could get her to sample my tasty blog." then you should know that I'm totally reading every other blog but yours.

Well, yours and ones that fall into the following objectionable categories.

Reasons I might not be reading your blog:

Diarrhea: If you are a blogger of great merit but write twenty-two sentence paragraphs, I'm probably not reading you. It's nothing personal. I'm elderly and I need occasional white space for my tired eyes. Not over-wordification. *bzzt* Pass.

Camouflage: If you are one of those people that have dark gray font on black background (or pink on red): Are you approximating disappearing ink? Working through some passive-aggressive issues? Insane? *bzzt* Pass.

ShoppingList: If your idea of a blog post is: "Went to library. Got 2 books." That's it? That's all you've got? Why?! Why blog about this? Might I suggest Twitter for your needs. *bzzt* Pass.

DanceParty: If you've got loud music and strobe action that starts as soon as I click on your site. *bzzt* Pass (chika, pass, pass, chika, pass, pass).

INeedALotofAttention: Is this you? --> "Here's four pictures of me half-naked and drunk." How nice for you. Mom must be so proud. I'm not so much into train wrecks. *bzzt* Pass.

Feel free to add your "Yeah, but what's even worse..." rants in the comments. (Like I could stop you.*)



* Alright, I'll say it: You're pushy.**

** I love pushy.

Because my gritty piece of wedding cake is your source of amusement

I should have had a great post... You see, I went to a vegan wedding. And even though I was a true vegetarian for eleven years, and still do not eat meat, I have no desire to go vegan. Vegan requires too much work and too much deprivation from my perspective. But here we were, attending a vegan wedding.

A friend that I'd known since grade school got (re-)married this past weekend. And she, a vegan, hired a vegan caterer.

Yup. From beginning to end it was vegan. In addition to no meat or fish... there were no eggs, no milk, no butter, no honey, no cheese, no gelatin, no animal products of any kind.

So I was all prepared to post about how lame the food was but, in fact, it was delicious. From the gazpacho in cherry tomatoes, mini pesto and caramelized onion pizzettes, veggie/tofu spring rolls with tangy dipping sauce, and more for appetizers to a very tasty and attractive sit-down meal that included pasta and a veggie terrine, to a lovely plate (pictured above) of wonderful (and non-gritty) cake, a sugar cookie, a mousse-like thingy, a chocolate bon-bon, and fruit, that some how didn't include cream, eggs, butter, etc. but still tasted like it did.

Amazing. It can be done and done well. The food was gorgeous, elegant, and scrumptious. And my friend got married to a wonderful man and did it in high style.

Now, what do I write about?!

Sometimes friends can be so inconsiderate.

"I'll be Watching You" -- The Police, Greatest Stalker Hits

Another mystery to me: Why do people list what they are currently reading on their blogs? I can see sharing recommendations of favorite books but ...currently reading? Not a criticism, just a curiosity.

Should I do this? I'm thinking much as you love me* you couldn't care less what I'm reading. But perhaps I'm wrong.

I am currently reading "Bel Canto" by Ann Patchett but it's taking me forever to get through it because:

A) I'm easily distracted.

B) I read slower than a sloth would read if a sloth read would chuck wood.

C) I keep getting magazines so I look at those. I receive quite a few because for a while I was answering surveys and one of the lame things you can trade in your low number redemption points for is magazines. My points were expiring soooo... lots of magazines I wouldn't normally read are appearing in my mailbox. It's a strange thing to look at magazines you normally wouldn't pick up. Like being in a doctor's waiting room but you're in your own home.**

D) I watch badtelevision. Television has become so bad, it's now one word: badtelevision. I have been known to switch it off once in a while but this always garners amazement from Hubby so I tend to just leave it on, melting my brain into soft beta.***

Um, so there you have it. I am currently reading Bel Canto. By Ann Patchett. Here's what it looks like:













Do you feel closer to me now?


* Oh, stop it. You know you do.

** Does the mailman looks at the magazines I am getting as a means of furthering our distant connection?

*** Beta. Like buttah. But bettah.

Googly Goo

A while back, I set up my Google Reader and loaded it up with lots of lovely blogs to read. I enjoyed reading these blogs and knowing when someone had posted some critical update about the crazy guy at the 7-11 who insists on paying with all pennies or the blogger that shares that their latest poo was shaped like a dinosaur. Important stuff! You people can be all kinds of entertaining.

Then things got crazy busy at work. My boss went off on one of his bi-weekly vacations (La! La!).*

He left me in charge and last week was something of a perfect storm of meetings and presentations and action items (oh, my!) and I was pulling reports in my off-hours and expanding the curse words in my vocabulary and auto-posting my modest inventory of material to my blog because I had no time to come up with anything new and yet I'd made an unofficial commitment to myself to try to post something at least six days a week.***

And in the midst of all this insanity (Stop the Insanity!****), I realized I was falling further and further behind in my all important blog reading.

You wouldn't think that this would be the guilt-inducing state that it is but that Google Reader would tell me that there were 19 updates... 26 updates... 42 updates... well, you get the idea. I shouldn't have been checking it, I know, as there was no way I was getting to any of those updates while insanity ensued but... I might be... just a little... addicted.

So, happily the boss is back and I can start to catch up a bit on my Reader-ing before I'm completely overwhelmed and just hit the Mark All as Read button for all of you Blogosphere lovelies.

So if it seems I've suddenly stopped commenting and expressing my joy at the wonder that is your blog, chances are it's just a work thingy.

Yeah, go with that.



* He is my work hero. He disappears on short notice more than Batman. I can learn much from this genius.**

** Unless he really is Batman. This is not a job I want. I do not have the body to carry off large belt buckles.

*** Sure, some people would call that a sloppy, run-on sentence. I prefer to think of it as a James Joycian stream-of-consciousness homage.

**** 5 extra special bonus points to the person who knows who made that quote famous!

Blogging & Geocaching Parallels

I've been thinking about open (unmoderated, unlimited) blogging and geocaching and how they're similar.

To me, blogging is virtual geocaching. Sure, with geocaching, you get to explore an actual place and take in the fresh air and scenery (good stuff!) but, other than that, there's a lot of parallels.

Check it...

In both:

• you decide to create something for the public that you hope is unique
  
• you put it in a public spot
• you try to put cool/interesting things in it, some with particular meaning to you
• you leave clues to where it is
• you may explicitly tell some people that it exists but not others
  
• people who know you may suspect you've set it up and go looking for it
• people who do or don't know you may accidentally stumble upon it
• different people take different things from it
• different people leave different things in it
• not everybody identifies themselves so you don't always know who's stopped by
• different ones appeal to different people
• you can go back to it and look at how it's evolved
• you don't control who visits or what they take or leave*
• you need to have just a smidgen of tech savvy
  
• you can meet really interesting people doing it
• it's pretty cool to know you're part of a universe that some people know about and others don't

* Okay, you can delete what people leave in comments but most of the time they're upping the "treasure" content.

Blogging & Privacy

As a relatively inexperienced blogger I struggle with how much to share.

Yes, blogging is all about sharing. At the same time, I don't want stalkers, thankyouverymuch, and I don't want my friends' and family's privacy invaded so I often dither over what to share and how much to share here. I know some people would be delighted to have their name in print or their picture here but then there are others who'd feel very uncomfortable or even angry about it. So, I tend to err on the side of caution.

I know people that plaster pictures of themselves/friends/family and very specific details about their lives (past, present, and planned) on their web-sites and I worry for them. Identity theft is so rampant and when you put information on the web you're inviting access by the world.

I don't have an answer on this. Just a quandary with which I continue to struggle.

Yay! I Can Compose!

For over a week I've been trying to use Blogger to post to this blog as I have done many times in the past. Suddenly Blogger was no longer compatible with IE. Not in a big, dramatic obvious way... in a "we'll let you do some things but not the really important things" way. It would allow me into Html mode but not into standard Compose mode. This doesn't create a problem for some but my Html isn't even as good as my German, which is very weak indeed.

I went in search of help. What I found is that there is no one to contact directly at Blogger. You can look at Known Problems and see if one of them is yours and if there's a fix. You can post (haha! ironic, no?) to the Help Group and hope someone notices and responds. I found that my problem was far from a personal problem in the Help Group. One kind soul recommended trying access through Firefox. And here I am. Composing. Giddy with ability again.

It's nice to have an outlet for the little inanities that seem to get blocked up inside me when I can't blog. After a mere year, I grow to miss it when I'm away. Go figure. I guess we all like the sound of our own voice. Except on a tape recording, of course. :)

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

The Science of Buzz in the Blogosphere and the Unbearable Lightness of K-Fed

In a Yahoo news story about the Nationwide K-Fed commercial, I came across the following sentence:

Indeed, media research firm Nielsen BuzzMetrics recently
found that the ad represented about one-quarter of all blog conversations
related to Super Bowl advertising -- more than any other subject.

Now I'm not surprised at the fact, except that I would have guessed it would be a higher stat than 1/4. I am interested in the fact that Nielsen is now evaluating Buzz by content checks on blogs. Huh. I guess I am in some sense what they used to call a "Nielsen family" by the very fact that I have a blog and Technorati, among other places, logs it. I took a look at Nielsen BuzzMetrics and found... more blogs, what else?! Blogs on word-of-mouth advertising, summary of what's creating buzz in the blogosphere, etc.

I guess I've just upped K-Fed's buzz count, too. I'm assuming his buzz is about to become a fizzle... then maybe a fttt... and then maybe the sound of a cricket off in the distance... getting squashed by someone wearing a very soft moccasin.