26 May 2009

"We share a cast of characters from A to Z" --Carly Simon

It's been a while since I've waxed philosophical... so... let's kick this around some...

I don't think I'd sleep with a blogger.

You know, I mean I wouldn't sleep with a blogger if I were single and looking to sleep with someone, which I am not. So, to rephrase: Theoretically speaking, I wouldn't sleep with a blogger.

Don't get me wrong. Bloggers are a sexy bunch. At least the ones I know IRL. For real, have you seen these people, People?

And saying I wouldn't sleep with one... well, I know that's a harsh thing to say. I guess that makes me an anti-blogite. And an egoist to think I'd draw that kind of attention. And a self-loathing hypocrite, being that I have met the enemy and I are us.

Plus, I AM sleeping with a blogger (which is about as intimate as I'm going to get on this blog.) But, then, he wasn't a blogger when I met him. And he has a high level of discretion which seems to be a rare commodity these days. I think that's really the gist of what I'm getting at. The reason I wouldn't theoretically sleep with a blogger is because I wouldn't want intimate details (good or bad) discussed on said blogger's blog. And, by and large, bloggers do discuss. Oh, yes, yes, they do.

Now, one could argue that if you don't trust someone not to relay intimate details about you on their blog, you surely shouldn't sleep with them. Perhaps. Still, I've seen a lot of intimate details on blogs. A lot. From people I respect. And, I've even seen after-the-breakup revenge posts. Not pretty. Entertaining, sure. But I'm not the target.

Because, let's face it, part of the joy of blogging is sharing things you might not share in other venues. And part of the joy of reading blogs is finding some of those insights into people that you might not get in other ways. Voyeur? Sure. So please don't think I'm passing judgment if you share more on your blog than I choose to share on mine. It's just got me thinking.

In keeping with the GIAT*, this past Sunday, humor columnist, Gene Weingarten's brilliant column in the WaPo was a very intimate, bittersweet account of his father's decline. In it, he says, "Not everything that happens in a writer's life is appropriate to publish...". That premise, coupled with some very personal, dramatic, and I can only assume, horribly true blog posts I've read recently got me thinking about what is appropriate to publish on a blog.

And leads to a variety of dicey questions du jour: Are there things you definitely won't write about on your blog? Would knowing that someone had a blog make you more wary of getting involved with them?


PS Yes, I recognize the irony of posting a blog about who I would or wouldn't sleep with when discussing what's appropriate to share.

*GIAT = Global Interconnectedness of All Things.


LiLu said...

I hope B doesn't read this.

Poor guy,

Liebchen said...

I've thought similar things...and also wondered if/when I should divulge to dates that I blog. But yeah, when it concerns someone else, I do have *some* limits. Few, but they're there.

Fearless in Toronto said...

1. Yes
2. It depends

Narm said...

I would sleep with a blogger in a heartbeat. But I would also sleep with a fat chick, an amputee, a blow-up doll, a leper and a small mammal.

But not in that order.

Mike said...

What Narm said. Only not so picky.

Wv: nothogra - A placebo male enhancement drug.

Cyndy said...

First question: absolutely
Second question: probably, but I'm already pretty wary.

And now I'm also feeling a little hypocritical for really enjoying certain blogs that share so much personal information and are so unlike the sweet and innocent/boring little ditties that I put out there. Some people have a much higher threshold for sharing their stuff than I do and it is really interesting to be able to read about their various outlooks and experiences. I sometimes wish I could be more forthcoming myself, but then I think "who would want to know that about me, and who would I want to know that about me?" If the answer isn't "everyone in the entire universe" I'm probably not going to post it. I guess that's an excellent reason to remain anonymous. I'm at least semi-anonymous, I hope!

G said...

I trust very few people with intimate details of my life. None of those I trust have a blog and even if they did, the trust factor would remain.
There are a few things I would not share on my blog: details of intimacy (or lack of) with my partner; personal or sensitive information about my kids. But that just seems common sense to me.

Kate said...

You've read my blog. I think I need a better filter, but it is what it is. I write for me and only me.

Maxie said...

As a blogger I wouldn't want to hook up with another blogger. The blogosphere already has enough drama. But as a non-blogger it wouldn't really bother me. I mean yea, they have a platform where they can talk about your sex life or whatever, but there are worse things people could do.

I talk about almost anything on my blog, but all for humor. I'd never write about sex just to write about sex and I don't write about people I know that may someday find my blog. I've definitely put some regrettable things out there for a laugh though.

Gilahi said...

I refuse to answer either of those questions on the grounds that they might incriminate me.

Shannon said...

I've wavered on how much personal stuff to put out there, but for the most part I err in favor of making an ass of myself, vs. making fun of anyone else. I have a rule about not using my blog to settle scores or get revenge, which keeps me away from a lot of the immaturity, drama and silliness.

I'm open about having a blog, then again, my name's on it and it pops up immediately when I'm Googled. So I don't have much of a choice.

I wouldn't rule out dating another blogger, however, there would have to be an understanding that we don't blog about each other.

Shannon said...

Also, you wouldn't sleep with me? I'm so dreamy!

Bilbo said...

I'm with Gilahi - someday I may be nominated for a prestigious position like Secretary of the Bewildered, and I'd hate to have anything I'd said come back to haunt me. Oh. Wait. It's too late. Never mind. I'm going to find a blogger to not sleep with.

vw: inglask - where a Polish bartender pours your brewski.

Ibid said...

Mom reads my blog. I ain't sayin' nuthin'

repliderium.com said...

I am sleeping with a blogger but we have rules. We can mention each other, but nothing intimate. That's just for us.

Barbara said...

There are definitely things that will never see the light of day on my Blog. I've also had my share of posts that had to be removed because someone (sometimes the ex-Blogger I do sleep with) found them offensive.

Unfortunately what often happens when two Bloggers get involved is they both quit Blogging because our first nature is to spill our guts out there for the public and it's hardly worth writing if we can no longer do it.

Matt said...

Yeah theres some things that I just keep to myself because well, I choose to put my shit out there... other people dont have that same choice.

so I play nice.

fiona said...

What "G" said!

Alex said...

I wouldn't avoid all bloggers, but the ones whose blogs are infused with nonstop personal drama - definitely. Besides not wanting my business all over the interwebs, that shiz's just not that interesting.

Herb of DC said...

I will never sleep with another blogger again. There are much easier ways to get comments on your blog.

lacochran said...

LiLu: He knew what he was getting into and jumped in with both feet.

Liebchen: Is divulging a blog like mentioning an STD?

Fearless in Toronto: 1. Okay and 2. Care to share what it depends on?

Narm: So what they say about farm boys is true. Your lady friend must be very... flexi-- accommoda-- understanding.

Mike: What I said to Narm.

Cyndy: I like your test questions. But if I applied them, I might not post anything.

G: Common sense is sometimes in short supply. Hence, Jerry Springer.

Kate: You don't care if you have readers/comments?

Maxie: So, as a blogger you wouldn't want another blogger. You know whereof you speak.

Gilahi: More incriminated than you already are?

Shannon: "I err in favor of making an ass of myself, vs. making fun of anyone else". That's why you're classy, even if we do drink wine from your purse.

Shannon: Oh, you're beyond dreamy!

Bilbo: Why not go ahead and not sleep with two at the same time?

Ibid: Ah. Mums the word. (See what I did there?)

repliderium.com: Rules sometimes help. Do you link to each other?

Barbara: Censorship can feel icky. But if it saves the relationship...

Matt: Sounds gallant.

Fiona: What I responded to G with.

Alex: It does make me wonder about the "drama magnets" and how much is real or blog-enhanced. Either way, I think you're wise to avoid.

Herb of DC: Shhhhh! Just our secret, right?

CGHill said...

I'd be tempted to agree with this premise, but given the sheer emptiness of my dance card, it's pretty much academic anyway.

Kate said...

There are MOST DEFINITELY things I don't write about on my blog. I use the gut rule -- if the thought of publishing something makes me think I'm going to hurt someone or incur their wrath, I go with my gut and keep it to myself. And, if I were single, I'm not sure if I'd sleep with a blogger or not. I guess it depends on the person and how open they were about their blogging when we met.

voyagesbooth said...

Its seriously amazing who write this blog.