04 September 2008

What? Is it too leafy for you??

Recently, we realized a neighbor, one adjacent to us, was having his tree trimmed again. This was the second time in the last few months that we'd had the tree-trimming truck next door and the symphony of saws and chippers to delight us.

We fear for the neighbor's tree. That we will open the door and his once majestic silver maple will be whittled down to a toothpick. Or worse, a topiary.*

The doorbell rings. Hubby opens it to find said neighbor.

Hubby: Hi...

Neighbor, pointing to his tree in his yard: Hi! You can see, I've got the guys here to trim my tree.

Hubby: Yes, I noticed.

Neighbor, pointing to tree in our yard: So, I was wondering if you want yours done, too.

Hubby: Ours?

Neighbor: Yes. It wouldn't cost you a cent. I'd pay for it.

Hubby: Is something wrong with it?

Neighbor: No.

Hubby: Is it overhanging your lawn?

Neighbor: No. I just thought you might want to trim it so it matches mine. No charge to you.

Hubby: *pause* No, I don't think so. Um, thanks.

Neighbor: Oh. Okay.

What is wrong with people? A perfectly beautiful, healthy, happy tree and it needs to be trimmed to match? I don't think so. And the neighbor is so hopped up on the idea, he'll pay for it! Now if he wants to pay to have our gutters cleaned out...

* At a previous property, a rental, we had these weird Dr. Seuss spiral-cut shrubberies that landlady expected us to maintain. It's a shrub not a ham! What's wrong with a shrub being--oh, I don't know--shrub-shaped? Do we have to give it scoliosis?!


Narm said...

After you get matching trees you could get matching head-to-toe denim outfits and go out on the town together. I want your life.

Herb of DC said...

Is that tree about to swim in the Olympics? If not it should be left untrimmed.

rs27 said...

You guys should get matching Hyundai Elantras too.

If he pays.

Kristin said...

I've always wanted to coordinate with my neighbors - bring on the saws!

Actually, I'd just be really happy if my neighbors remembered to put out the trash on trash day, not the following night.

Tina said...

tell him you'll let him landscape your entire property to match - including color coordinated paint for the house - just as soon as he starts paying the mortgage.

zandria said...

That's so funny that your neighbor offered to have your trees trimmed for free, just to "match" his! :)

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Hey, send your neighbor over here. I have a tree that needs to be completely cut down and the lowest bid I've had is $5,000. If he's willing to pay to have a deciduous tree lopped, I'm happy to accommodate!

lacochran said...

Narm: Henny Youngman on his deathbed: "Take my life... please!"

Herb of DC: :) The tree is delightfully aero- and aqua-dynamic.

Rs27: Think he'll throw in a moon roof?

Kristin: In my neighborhood they scold you if you have your trash out on the wrong night. Um, so I've heard.

Tina: Yeah!

Zandria: I am continually amazed at the true life blog material all around me.

J.M Tewkesbury: Very gracious of you to help him out.