I was going to write a post about how I don't like egg white and I was going to do this because, well, let's face it, you and I have known each other a while now and I figure we've reached that level of bonding. I understand about expectations and I don't want you to feel like I'm holding out on you.*
But then I got to thinking about how people love to talk about what foods they hate and isn't that sort of strange and, well, I reconsidered.
Why do you want to hear about my egg white aversion?** I'm thinking you really don't want to hear about my egg white aversion.
I'm thinking you also don't want to hear your Uncle Morty talking about how he "likes onions but they don't like him." Or your cousin Delilah saying "I wish I liked salad more because I know it's good for me but I just don't."
What's the point of all that? At best, you find someone with the same food hang-ups as you. "You hate milk?! I hate milk!!"*** And then you do your happy milk-hating dance together.****
So... I'm not going to talk about my egg white issues.
That's healthy, right?
I'm just not.
It's not like I need to.
Unless you really want me to.
If you really want to know, do nothing. That'll be our secret signal.
Well, I stand corrected! It's amazing how well we communicate!
Okay, then, in brief:
It's the rubbery texture that makes me all squeebee.*****
* Who says I'm cold and unsharing? Just don't eye my Pecan Twirls.
** This has nothing to do with the aversion but, let's face it, I'm all about the tenuous tangent and this one is at least about eggs. Several years ago, I was over a relative's house for dinner and she asked me to carry in a tray of deviled eggs. I did, but as I got to the table, I, and the tray, stopped moving, but the eggs, slippery suckers, kept going. Pity there was no America's Funniest Home Videos slide whistle sound effect to accompany the arc of the eggs as they went flying off the tray. I was particularly pleased that one deviled egg did a beautiful swan dive into a tall glass of soda. *Sploosh!* ... Wah, wahhh.
*** Yeah, I actually do hate milk. You, too?! OMG!
**** Because I have complete faith in the Interwebs, I searched Google images for "milk hating dance". Hey, you never know. It gave me images for each of these words but not the combination. I think Google should create a mash-up of images for you if it can't actually find the combination you're seeking.
***** All right, your turn.