11 September 2008

If I said you had a beautiful foot, would you hold it against me?

My feet are extraordinary.

They must be.

Foot fetishists (yes, plural) have approached me.

It started years ago. I had no idea what power I had at my fing--er, toetips until I was approached outside a Dunkin Donuts. I had just dashed in to purchase a bagel for a quick bite while I was running errands. So here I am, carrying my bag of bageliciousness to the car when a man in the parking lot calls to me...

Man: Excuse me!

I don't generally respond to strangers in parking lots because nine out of ten times they want money and the tenth time is even worse to consider.

Man: Miss! Excuse me, Miss?!

Since he is so insistent, I wonder if I've dropped something. I am now within a foot or two of my car and about 15 feet from the man who is calling to me. I grasp my bagel and my pepper spray a bit more firmly and turn to face him.

Man: Excuse me... I... Your shoes are so pretty.

Me: *pause* Thank you.

Man: Can I ... touch them?

Me: No.

Man, licking his lips: Please? I only want to touch your shoes.

I hop into the car, hit the power lock, and peel out of there.

Now if this were a one time issue, I'd think it was the shoes, which, as I recall, were a standard pump--you should pardon the expression.

But it's not. I've had moments like this with other men. It goes something like this...

Man next to me at lunch counter: Look at you with your polished toes.

Me: Oh, uh, yeah.

Man: They're really nice.

Me: Thanks.

Man: Really... I'll bet men talk about them all the time.

Me: Er, no.

Man: You have such beautiful feet.

Me, picking up my lunch and leaving: Thanks! Gotta dash.

I've always thought my feet were pretty standard. Reasonably tapered and a modest size but nothing to write Penthouse about. But I don't know what makes a foot sexy so I may be a little off here. Not trying to slam those that are into it, I just can't relate.

Are there women who are foot fetishists or is this strictly a guy thing? I know women who ogle what I'd call "non-obvious" parts, like hands, arms, etc. but I don't know women who are into feet. I suppose it's possible I may not know everything... somehow... maybe.

Anyway, I'm sure someone will request a photo, so, here is a photo taken a few years ago when my feet were in their prime. You be the judge, but I warn you, this picture is pretty provocative:

You're panting right now, aren't you.


Bilbo said...

Women with prehensile toes turn me on...can I have one of those pictures with an autograph?

Ibid said...

I barely notice what I've got on my feet, let alone what's on a woman's foot.

I'm a forehead man. I like them nice and round and sticking out a bit. Sloping is bad.

fiona said...

Your feet look...interesting, but we really do need to get you to a waxing salon hun :-)

Narm said...

Wow! Opposable thumbs and everything.

I'm impressed.

restaurantrefugee said...

I will out myself - not as a foot fetishist - but I do notice a woman's shoes.

Herb of DC said...

Oh that reminds me I need to shave my arches--I have a date tonight.

rs27 said...

To be fair you shouldn't be haning out at Foot Fetish Anonymous.

Mike said...

We want to see them there FEETS!!!!

I looked up 'Foot Fetish Anonymous' and found http://www.asff.com/ and they were CLOSED! What a bummer today. No feet pictures!

Looks like we'll just have to back one post and look at socks. CLEAN socks! Bummer.

Sean said...

I couldn't get past the guy asking you to touch your feet and shoes. That's really disturbing and seems like a terrible pick-up line!

lacochran said...

Bilbo: This is more information about Agnes than I need to know.

Ibid: So Christina Ricci is your dream girl, eh?

Fiona: Last time there was a "fur surcharge."

Narm: Drives men wild.

RestaurantRefugee: Thanks for your honesty. Takes guts.

Herb of DC: Is your date not in touch with your animal nature?

Rs27: But they serve donuts at break!

Mike: I provide a picture and you still complain. No pleasing some people.

Sean: Freaky but true. I can't even begin to imagine how that scene would have played out if I'd said, "Okay."

Ibid said...

Mmmmmm... Wednesday Addams.

zandria said...

That's pretty freaky and those men being so interested in your feet! I have a photo of my feet that I put up on Flickr a few years ago -- I wanted to show people my "first ever professional pedicure" -- and it's one of my most viewed photos OF ALL. The food fetishists are some crazy folks...

lacochran said...

Zandria: I imagine it's pretty hard to make key connections in this arena. So the question in my mind is, did you leave the photo up or take it down once you knew what was going on?

SingLikeSassy said...

I'd like to direct you to this post on my blog. It may help you work this foot situation out. YWIA!