10 September 2008

Baths are the best!

You can't compare showering to bathing.

No, I mean YOU can't. I can...

First, let me say for the record that bathing is way superior. If it pleases the court, I'll present my evidence:

I'll even open my argument with the clincher: It is dang near impossible to shave your legs in a 3 x 3 shower stall, unless you are one of these people:

This is one important reason I bathe. But there's so much more...

Technically, I could shower in the bathtub but once you're in the bathtub, you might as well lay down and relax, right? It's like why would you pee standing up if you can sit down? Nobody would! That's just silly.

And bathing is relaxing: all that hot, soapy water swishing around you. Okay, some people call it stewing in your own filth but I prefer to think of it as more of a delightful consommé.

When you shower, there's always that one spray of water that hits you right in the eye no matter where you stand. How is that good? It's not, I tell you. Not so, with a bath.

And if someone else is using water while you're in the shower? Too bad for you, Bucko. You either scald or freeze. Sometimes both in rapid succession! With a bath you get a nice, consistent temperature no matter how many sadistic housemates you have.

If you share a shower, someone is always out in the cold. If you share a bath, everybody's happy.

There are many more bath products than shower products. Coincidence? I think not.

And, finally, for my closing argument: When I was a child, I was all about this stuff:

because, as you can clearly see from the label, it "makes bathing fun." As if bathing could get any better (!) --but, somehow, with this stuff, it did!

There's no Silly Soap for showers. Doesn't that say it all?

Case closed.


Narm said...

As the owner of a peen - your peeing standing up argument fell on deaf ears.

But baths do mean rubber duckies so I'm in.

Gilahi said...

When you're comparing showers and baths and then mention peeing standing up versus peeing sitting down, I'm hoping that these are completely separate activities. If not, then I'd much rather pee standing up in the shower than sitting down in the bathtub.

Lemmonex said...

I recently took over the master bedroom in my apartment, which is awesome...except, the bathroom? The bathroom is very tiny and has a stall shower.

I almost broke my leg trying to shave the first time.

Also, the thing is so tiny it will be impossible to share it with someone. It makes me sadder than it should.

Mike said...

Case reopened.
Endless shower. Water hitting head and back. Too good.
Case reclosed.

Bilbo said...

Odd story time...
When we last lived in Europe, we rented a house with an ultramodern and amazingly complicated shower/tub/toilet/bidet construction, operated by a huge array of unlabled knobs that controlled the water temperature, the tub, the bidet, and various combinations of shower heads mounted in the walls and ceiling. The first knob I turned in trying to figure it all out controlled...of course...the bidet. You haven't lived until you've been unexpectedly blasted by the bidet you were leaning over to reach the cluster of knobs.

The electrical wiring was worse, but that's a story for another day.

rs27 said...

Note: Taking a bath with a cigar and reading magazine will leave you with wet magazines and a smelly bathroom

Ibid said...

Bathing is great from a theraputic stand point. Sit back in the nice warm water, add some lavender, light some candles, play in the Mr. Bubble or read a book (carefully).
From the stand point of getting clean it's less effective. In a shower all the oil and dirt runs off and washes away. In a bath you just sit in it.

I like to have a tub around for those couple of times in the year when I want a nice relaxing bath. It's also good for washing that comforter that won't fit in the washing machine and submerging tires and balls to find where they're leaking.

lacochran said...

Narm: Duckies rule!

Gilahi: Yes, separate--I said bathtub, not public pool.

Lemmonex: It does sound sorta sad. I hope the awesomeness of the bedroom makes up for it.

Mike: Objection! The water sliding around you is much better.

Bilbo: But did you like it?

Rs27: Cigars are sort of the consistency of wet magazines, no?

Ibid: Thanks for sharing your ball submerging thoughts.

SingLikeSassy said...

I like baths for the soaking/relaxing but not for the cleaning. The dirt just floats in there with you. Ew.