If you've said to yourself, "Hey, that Lacochran sure has it going on. Wish I could get her to sample my tasty blog." then you should know that I'm totally reading every other blog but yours.
Well, yours and ones that fall into the following objectionable categories.
Reasons I might not be reading your blog:
Diarrhea: If you are a blogger of great merit but write twenty-two sentence paragraphs, I'm probably not reading you. It's nothing personal. I'm elderly and I need occasional white space for my tired eyes. Not over-wordification. *bzzt* Pass.
Camouflage: If you are one of those people that have dark gray font on black background (or pink on red): Are you approximating disappearing ink? Working through some passive-aggressive issues? Insane? *bzzt* Pass.
ShoppingList: If your idea of a blog post is: "Went to library. Got 2 books." That's it? That's all you've got? Why?! Why blog about this? Might I suggest Twitter for your needs. *bzzt* Pass.
DanceParty: If you've got loud music and strobe action that starts as soon as I click on your site. *bzzt* Pass (chika, pass, pass, chika, pass, pass).
INeedALotofAttention: Is this you? --> "Here's four pictures of me half-naked and drunk." How nice for you. Mom must be so proud. I'm not so much into train wrecks. *bzzt* Pass.
Feel free to add your "Yeah, but what's even worse..." rants in the comments. (Like I could stop you.*)
* Alright, I'll say it: You're pushy.**
** I love pushy.
30 October 2008
"You can't always get what you want..." --The Rolling Stones
29 October 2008
"I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry 'bout all the things I said to you..." --Buckcherry
A while back, I was at a wedding of a college pal of mine and, at the reception, I got seated with a group of folks who were all from our alma mater. It'd been about 10 years since I'd seen any of them.
I recognized all of my schoolmates but one. I assumed this woman was the date of someone else at the table. Um, not so much.
It went something like this:
Me, graciously trying to make the outsider feel at ease: Hi, I'm L.A.
Her: I know!
Me *You know?* : Um...
Her: You don't remember me??
Me *Crap*: Uh...
Her, voice rising: L.A., we were in the same year at [alma mater].
Me *Crap!*: Er...
Her, incredulously: We were in several classes together!
The whole table has stopped chatting and is now looking at the two of us.
Me *Crap! Crap! Crap!*: I...
Her: I SAT RIGHT NEXT TO YOU IN [class name]!
She then tells me her FIRST and LAST name in a pretty ticked off voice and...
People... I'm telling you...
I got nothing. NOTHING. Her name is meaningless. I can not, for the life of me, place this chick.
And, now, it's abundantly clear that she thinks she knows me pretty dang well.*
Me: Oh, right! Sure! It's been a while now. Forgive me. You've changed a little. I guess we all have.
Her: Everybody else says I look exactly the same! [Tablemate] was just saying how I look exactly the same!
Me: I have a tumor.
Because what the heck else can you say at this point?**
And all this before they'd poured the wine.
* Okay, so we were in a few classes together. I took a friggin' lot of classes. BORING classes. I was half-asleep through most of them. It's not like we did crimes together. Now, those people I remember. Fondly.
** No, of course I didn't say that. I wish I had. Maybe I could have garnered a little sympathy.
28 October 2008
"Come away with me..." --Norah Jones
Here is my office view:
if by "office view" you mean "calendar picture I am currently torturing myself with".
Pretty, no?
According to the calendar, this is a shot of Nevis, which I'm told is pronounced NEEvis, which, to me, always sounded less like a tropical island and more like...
Doctor: I'm afraid it's quite serious--he's broken his Nevis.
I'd still be willing to risk it.
And so I will be spending some time on Nevis' sun drenched shores, if by "spending time on Nevis' sun drenched shores" you mean generating reports that probably won't ever be used, under unflattering florescent lights until my eyes cross.
Tra La!
26 October 2008
I'll be the one with her hands in front of her face shouting "No pictures!"
This is a special note to the DC-area locals:
I've met a few of you, and so far so good.*
Lately, I've been playing with the idea of organizing a happy hour.
Why?
- I like happy hours.
- I like meeting people.**
- Life is short.
Note on being cool: With regards to identity disclosure, well, that's your call. I'll show discretion if you will. I'm not about to "out" you to any mutual acquaintances and I'm even willing to call you "Great Baboo" if that's how you want to be known.
Yes, if you're local and reading this, you're invited.
So, who's up for a meet up?
-L.A.
* I know. Like you were just waiting for my approval to make your life complete.
** Unless you're completely self-involved, flea-infested, or icky.
25 October 2008
Movie Review: Vantage Point
We ordered "Vantage Point" on Pay-Per-View the other night.
No spoilers here.
It's got an impressive cast including Dennis Quaid, Forest Whitaker, Sigourney Weaver, and William Hurt. At first I wasn't sure if they'd just aged that much in real life or they were playing older folks but, no, they've aged. (Sorry, folks, me, too.) Still, they and the long list of actors did a pretty good job with this concept movie.
In a nutshell, there's an assassination attempt and you get to see it played out over and over, each time from a different person's perspective.
I like thrillers and I like movies that muck with your sense of reality and I particularly like ones that combine the two, which this attempts to do. With each "retelling" of events, you get more clues about what just happened or what's about to happen. So you spend a lot of time saying to the yourself*, "Wait! He just saw something! What did he see?!" and hoping it'll be resolved in the next retelling.
The tag line "8 Strangers. 8 Points of View. 1 Truth." is what they try to offer up but it's not a perfect approach. The movie "cheats" in sometimes showing you things that aren't strictly in the viewer's range. And the device used to signal that viewpoints are about to switch--the scenes you just watched play quickly in reverse until you are back at the start--gets annoying, particularly after the third or fourth time. There are flaws in the plot and it gets heavy-handed with it's political message. Plus, how the movie wraps up all the loose bits is contrived.
Even with all that said, I liked it. There were plenty of plot twists, confounding clues and adrenaline-charged chase scenes to keep me watching. It's worth the Pay-Per-View price ($4.99), certainly. I give it 2 out of 4 jujubees.
* Or to the person next to you, if you're rude like that. Guess which I did.
