"Hey nineteen, No, we can't dance together, No, we can't talk at all" --Steely Dan

Hello, my cheeky monkeys! Yes, in a stunning upset, "your cheeky monkey" ran, screeching, past "Hoss", did a backflip and flung poo at "your blogmuffin" and won the poll in its final hours. Like the most ruthless Ebay bidder swooping in in the final minutes to prise that Star Wars plate away from prleia33, you made it happen! Thanks for voting to let me know your real desires. I will honor your wishes, although I was sort of hoping to call you my blogmuffin. Guess we'll save that for our more private moments.

So, on with today's post.. a bit of a heavy one today...



When you get to know people in the blogosphere, you often don't know who or what they are before you know their ideas, their opinions, their hopes, their fears, their values, their sense of humor, etc. This is what you build connections on. This appeals to me, which is why my profile photo is not entirely helpful to those seeking to figure out what/who I am. In contrast, in the real world, we often judge based on our first visual impression. We make decisions based on what we see or what we think we see.

At the party last week, a friend who was in his late 40s walked into a room that had a bunch of 20-somethings in it and I began to introduce him. He cut me off, saying "Nevermind. Too young!"

At the time I thought, "What an ass." I did. I knew these people. I liked these people. To write them off based on their age was a lousy thing to do. (And, weirdly enough, after the party, we realized we had people in attendance who were in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s. Which I think is non-standard. We didn't plan it that way. It just was.)

This friend was rude to dismiss people to their face, but I've heard this sentiment, privately, a lot, in both directions. Younger people saying they didn't want to hang out with an older crowd and older people saying they had no interest in hanging out with younger people.

Fast forward a week and we are at a party where 90% of the crowd is 20 years younger than us. We don't even know the hosts all that well, much less anyone else at the party, but we make our way in and chat with a variety of people and have a reasonably good time.

It is an 80s party complete with costumes (think Madonna in the early years, hair band members, Alf.) And I'm struck thinking that most of them probably don't remember much of the 80s as they were little kids. It is just a fun theme. Meanwhile, I went to college in the 80s. I got married and divorced in the 80s. I started my career in the 80s. I wore those clothes and listened to that music... And it is hard for me not to feel a bit distant from these people, even as I think I shouldn't be judging them based on their age.

Yet, the age we are, in many ways, defines what phase we are in and what our priorities are. It means we remember where we were at, personally, when the country was going through various phases. It gives us context, similar experience, shapes our attitudes. Yet, we're all human beings. We all have commonalities if we seek them out.

Thus, to today's question: You enter a party and people are way off in age from you (>15 years younger or older, your choice.) Honestly, what's your first reaction? Do you try to mix or do you politely keep your distance?