"Bite back..." --The All American Rejects

Can we just agree, here and now, that if I ever date you and you are a vampire, that you will bite my neck?*

Well?

Not just a graze. Not a nibble. Not a hickey. Oh, you can do all that, too, but you better get around to a bite.** I'm talking chomp city. Because where's the value in dating a vampire otherwise?!

So, by now you can guess which movie I got stuck watching on the flight to Barbados.

Ooo, the teen angst. Ooo, the bleached out features. Ooo, the smoldering intensity.

Yeah, talk about biting.***



* You might as well tell me here and now as this is the kind of thing that's bound to come up. One night you'll be flossing in that annoying way you do--you use way too much elbow--and I'll say "Hey, if you were a vampire would you bite me?" and you'll have to answer me then and there with floss hanging from your teeth, which, trust me, won't help you at all.

** Okay, maybe I'm a wee bit too old for hickeys.

*** This was the better of the two movies I saw. I could, sadly, remember all of Twilight. But, try as I might, I couldn't remember the other film we saw on the trip back at all. It was close to two weeks later when I saw an ad on TV (it's coming out on Blu-Ray) that I realized we had seen The Day the Earth Stood Still on the return flight. Bleah. Really, really bleah. Promise me****, if you're ever Keanu Reeves, that you'll do better than this dreck?

**** Yeah, that's two promises I'm demanding. It's Monday; I'm feeling needy.

"Riding on the Metro" --Berlin

First: New poll up (top right) on the peculiar lure of the vampire flick.

Oh, stop. You know you're dying to make your voice heard. Go vote. You can even select multiple answers.

I mean now. Don't make me chase you.*

And now on to today's completely unrelated post...

People that are in my Metro car every single time I ride:

• Bag Guy. Bag Guy has 14 different full plastic and paper bags and arranges them on the seat next to him, on him, in front of him and on you if you'll let him.

• Teenager on the Monkey Bars. Teenager on the Monkey Bars has to try to impress his friends by pretending the overhead grab bar is actually a chin up bar. He comes this close** to smacking his head on the ceiling. His friends find this hilarious.
  

• Matchy Tourist. Matchy Tourist is one of a group of at least five people wearing hideous, neon-bright t-shirts and matching hats. It's like they found ugly-t-shirt-and-matching-hat.com and said, "Yeah, that's the stuff! We'll be able to spot each other easily and fit right in in über-tony DC."

• Overshare Woman. Overshare Woman insists on sitting on one side of the car and carrying on a personal conversation with her friend on the other side of the car at top volume. The conversation always includes the phrase "I'm not gonna put up with that shit."

• Clueless Tourist. Clueless Tourist "discovers" the Metro map and stands, slack-jawed, in front of it, unable to decipher it, occasionally looking around pathetically for help which always comes... from another tourist.

• Screaming Gregory. Screaming Gregory is the child that screams and cries for the entire trip despite his parents, who are busy eying Overshare Woman nervously, saying "Now, now, Gregory. It's all right, Gregory."

Are these people on every subway system or is it just the DC Metro? Or is it just me they follow? 'Cause, you know, I'm not gonna put up with that shit.



* Unless you're going to do the slasher movie run while looking over your shoulder causing you to trip and fall down bit. I'm a sucker for that move.

** I originally had two angle brackets here but it was screwing up the html. Sheesh. Imagine me holding my fingers an inch apart a la Maxwell Smart.