Baths are the best!

You can't compare showering to bathing.

No, I mean YOU can't. I can...

First, let me say for the record that bathing is way superior. If it pleases the court, I'll present my evidence:

I'll even open my argument with the clincher: It is dang near impossible to shave your legs in a 3 x 3 shower stall, unless you are one of these people:


This is one important reason I bathe. But there's so much more...

Technically, I could shower in the bathtub but once you're in the bathtub, you might as well lay down and relax, right? It's like why would you pee standing up if you can sit down? Nobody would! That's just silly.

And bathing is relaxing: all that hot, soapy water swishing around you. Okay, some people call it stewing in your own filth but I prefer to think of it as more of a delightful consommé.

When you shower, there's always that one spray of water that hits you right in the eye no matter where you stand. How is that good? It's not, I tell you. Not so, with a bath.

And if someone else is using water while you're in the shower? Too bad for you, Bucko. You either scald or freeze. Sometimes both in rapid succession! With a bath you get a nice, consistent temperature no matter how many sadistic housemates you have.

If you share a shower, someone is always out in the cold. If you share a bath, everybody's happy.

There are many more bath products than shower products. Coincidence? I think not.

And, finally, for my closing argument: When I was a child, I was all about this stuff:


because, as you can clearly see from the label, it "makes bathing fun." As if bathing could get any better (!) --but, somehow, with this stuff, it did!

There's no Silly Soap for showers. Doesn't that say it all?

Case closed.