"oh the flossy flossy" --Fergie

Quite a bit of Hollywood was in town for the inauguration, including Tom Hanks.

This led me to realize that I don't get Tom Hanks: Celebrity.

Tom Hanks: Actor. Absolutely.

Tom Hanks: Nice Guy. Sure.

Tom Hanks: Activist. Whatever.

Tom Hanks: Guy next to you, quietly eating a cheese danish? Fine.

But Tom Hanks: Celebrity? Not so much.

Celebrities are Big-Time Deals. They're interesting. Provocative. Sensational. Even downright notorious.

Tom's talented. But we know the intersection between talent and celebrity is often vague and sometimes non-existent. So, where's that celebrity oomph? Is Tom Hanks someone the press wants to follow? Is he really A-list material? Breaking it down even more: Is this the guy you want to party with?

Where's the glamour? The wacky persona? The substance abuse? The histrionics? Is Tom releasing a sex tape? Is Tom breaking up a marriage? Is Tom boldly displaying his lack of underwear? Can you see Tom getting arrested at 3 a.m. for throwing an empty bottle of Cristal at somebody's head during a drunken exchange?

No, no, you can not. And there's the rub.

Tom's not throwing anything at anybody.

Celebrity? Bah!