"Closer" --Ne-yo

*glares at calendar* Fine, October. I'm in winter clothes. Are you happy?

Moving on...

So, who's up for an experiment? Today, I've come to talk about proximity. Physical proximity. It's heady stuff. It can be used to intimidate and menace. It can also be used to entice. And, a few years ago, I learned it can have another use...

• I went to ask an entertaining instructor a question and he smiled and walked toward me as I was speaking. He didn't stop. I was mid-asking and he was smiling and still walking. Eventually, I broke off with my question, discombobulated and alarmed that he might crash into me. I backed up. He kept toward me, smiling until he was probably a foot from me. Finally, I stammered out, "What are you doing?" He told me he'd done research and found that he could break down resistance quickly by literally getting close to people, by getting into their personal space--not in a threatening way but in a determined, friendly way. He was overdoing it to make the point but danged if he wasn't right. The mind follows the body. Much like smiling can improve your mood, getting closer to someone will get them feeling closer to you.
  

Try this with someone you like who you think likes you. Believe me, you'll find out quickly how good your instincts are. I'm not talking about jumping them or going nose to nose, just get a little closer physically than you normally would--come in a few inches--and watch their reaction. See if they aren't a bit discombobulated. See if their walls don't break down a little quicker. And if it's too hard for you to do this straight on, try getting closer from the side. Report back, I'd love to know how it works for you.

Obvious caveats that, if ignored, will get you a bloody nose or worse:

• Don't sneak up from behind.
• Don't do this in a high stress situation.
  
• Don't do this with people that detest you.
  
• Don't do this at work.
  
• Deodorant and mouthwash are good things. Use them.