"She likes to party all the time" --Eddie Murphy

Years ago, I went to a party.* I had bought a new outfit because, at the time, I was trying to impress a guy that, at this point in time, I realize wasn't worth the effort. You with me? I got this outfit that I thought was pretty dang snazzy and I thought I looked good, in a dramatic sort of way. I can pull off dramatic to some level.

So, I show up to the party and I spot a friend of mine and his girlfriend. I head over to them and the conversation goes like this....

Me: Hi, folks!
Friend: Hey, LA, glad you made it.
Me: Me, too! How's it going?
Friend: Good, good.
Friend's girlfriend, looking at my clothes: You look very *pause* New York.
Me: *pause* Is that a compliment?
Friend's girlfriend:
Me: Is it?
Friend's girlfriend:
Friend: Er, there's beer over here...

Is this reasonable??

She's willing to insult me to my face but then not own it? What the heck is that? Why say anything at all? This is like the person who comments that you've gotten a new haircut but then doesn't say anything more. If you don't like it, why mention it at all?


*Okay, that sounds like it's been years since I've been to a party. I've been to parties since then. I don't want you to get the idea that I'm never invited anywhere. I get invited. At least the first time.**

** At least I'm not a double dipper. I dip, bite, turn the chip, and dip again. You?

"People, they're the worst"--J. Seinfeld

As long as we're talking about interactions...

A long-standing peeve of mine: People who don't know how to carry on a decent conversation. Those who've met me will never label me a scintillating conversationalist but there are people that don't even seem to get the basic ebb and flow concept.

These are people that, upon a question from you, will gladly talk about themselves for forty-five minutes without pausing to see if you're paying attention (or still alive) but once they finally wind down, will just sit there, basting in their own juices, rather than learn anything about you.

You ever find yourself next to these people at a dinner party? It's brutal. You ask Wally a pleasant, polite question and suddenly it's "The Wally Show" and there's no off switch.

So, fine. you now know way more than you wanted to about Wally. Okay, you asked. Fair enough. But then Wally sits and stares.

Wally doesn't know anything about you and can't be bothered to ask. No "What do you do?" No "Tried the cheese dip?" No "Single or multiple?" Nothing.

A variant of this but no less irritating, are the people that can't be bothered to respond with more than a one word answer, much less show a polite interest in you.

Me: So, how do you know Sally?

Dick: Work.

Me: Uh-huh...

Dick: *stares into middle distance*

Me: Do you like the company?

Dick: Eh. *stares into middle distance*

Me: *stabs self in eye*

How is this acceptable?