"If I could turn back time" --Cher

I am a broken woman.

I spent the last few days with my personal trainer, Jillian "I'm a bully" Michaels, via her 30 Day Shred DVD.

Feel free to commence laughing at me.

I've been doing the Level 1 routine, which is all of 20 minutes. And it's not like we're doing any fancy choreography or kempo karate. Nope. We're doing jumping jacks and push ups and lunges with weights and old school stuff like that.

And I'm dyin' here.

It's not so miserable while I'm doing it. But clearly some of these muscles haven't been worked in a while because afterwards my legs tighten up, allowing me to nail my Frankenstein's monster impersonation. Of course, without the enormous schwanzstucker.

People at work are giving me weird looks. I mean, worse than usual.

At least I'll be a toned corpse.