"If you ain't dirrty, you ain't here to party" --Christina Aguilera

[Story of my life. Maybe I should pick a less flattering profile picture.]


I'd like to start this post by apologizing to Fearless in case she's reading this.*

Here's the thing: No matter how great Toronto looks from a distance, I don't see myself going there. Why? Because the first thing anybody ever says about Toronto is "It's so clean!" Admit it, you've heard this:

How was Toronto?

I couldn't believe it was so clean!

Um, this is what you can't believe? You want to be aghast about something? Fine. Home Improvement got a 2009 TV Land award. There. Now, that's unbelievable.

But cleanliness? Is this really what you want in a city? Isn't that why you go to the country? To get some clean air in your lungs?

Do you really want "clean" as your key selling point?

Let me put it this way:

Friend: I want to set you up on a date with a great person I know.

You: Yeah? What are they like?

Friend: Oh, clean! Really clean.

You: Er, no.

Sure, you want them to be clean--hell, you want them to be disease free!--but you don't want to hear "clean." You want to hear "fun" or "easy on the eyes" or "really interesting" or even "wild" but if "clean" is the number one adjective, well, that's sad.

People say a lot about DC, some of it even positive, but discussion of hygiene level? Not really gonna happen. Sure, you might discuss the size of the rat you saw on the way to dinner or the aroma of the homeless guy that spit on you outside the museum but you're not likely going to say that as the first item of discussion. You'll be busy talking about the great meal or the fantastic exhibit you just experienced.

Clean, Toronto?

Really?

Really?



** Okay, does saying you want to apologize actually equate to apologizing? I've never been clear on this. When you hear "I'd like to apologize" do you say "Well, go right ahead..." or "Oh, that was sweet of you"? Discuss.