What? Is it too leafy for you??

Recently, we realized a neighbor, one adjacent to us, was having his tree trimmed again. This was the second time in the last few months that we'd had the tree-trimming truck next door and the symphony of saws and chippers to delight us.

We fear for the neighbor's tree. That we will open the door and his once majestic silver maple will be whittled down to a toothpick. Or worse, a topiary.*

The doorbell rings. Hubby opens it to find said neighbor.

Hubby: Hi...

Neighbor, pointing to his tree in his yard: Hi! You can see, I've got the guys here to trim my tree.

Hubby: Yes, I noticed.

Neighbor, pointing to tree in our yard: So, I was wondering if you want yours done, too.

Hubby: Ours?

Neighbor: Yes. It wouldn't cost you a cent. I'd pay for it.

Hubby: Is something wrong with it?

Neighbor: No.

Hubby: Is it overhanging your lawn?

Neighbor: No. I just thought you might want to trim it so it matches mine. No charge to you.

Hubby: *pause* No, I don't think so. Um, thanks.

Neighbor: Oh. Okay.

What is wrong with people? A perfectly beautiful, healthy, happy tree and it needs to be trimmed to match? I don't think so. And the neighbor is so hopped up on the idea, he'll pay for it! Now if he wants to pay to have our gutters cleaned out...


* At a previous property, a rental, we had these weird Dr. Seuss spiral-cut shrubberies that landlady expected us to maintain. It's a shrub not a ham! What's wrong with a shrub being--oh, I don't know--shrub-shaped? Do we have to give it scoliosis?!