"I will follow you... Follow you wherever you may go" --Ricky Nelson

Yeah, most of you are on Twitter. Not me.* I'm amazed that people even follow me on Blogger. But, according to Blogger, I do have "followers."

These aren't run of the mill people that read my blog, these are people that have signed on for special "follower" status.

If you have recently become a follower of mine, no worries! You'll get your follower club kit in the mail in four to six weeks. Bonus: LA's secret decoder ring with genuine diamonelle chip is available for an amazingly affordable three easy payments of $19.95. Isn't it time you got the subtext you were missing? Order today!**

So, I got to thinking, hey, I have followers! Some of you are probably reading this right now. And that's an honor. In a creepy, stalkery way, but still an honor.***

And having followers is a big responsibility. If you're a follower, you follow.**** By definition. If my blog gets in with a bad crowd, will your blog get in with a bad crowd, too?*****

I worry. And I feel like I should be a positive influence in your life. You know, use this spot to be inspiring.

So, um, crack is whack.

There. That was uplifting, right? Carry on.



* I heard that. I am not lame. I am old school ...in a really lame way.

** Limited time offer. Offer not combinable with LA's Thigh Magic, LA's Chop 'N' Peel, LA's Foreclose and Get Rich, or LA's Wow! That's a Good Turnip!

***Your night vision goggles leave those circle impressions around your eyes. But, you know, on you it totally works. Really. Please don't kill me.

**** You follow?

***** I hate to be the one to tell you but I saw your blog faceplant outside the 7-11 Saturday night. Not pretty.