TMI Thursday/"I'll be loving you... always..." --Leonard Cohen

"Always" has a line of feminine hygiene products. Their slogan is "Have a happy period."

Think about that.

Let's start with the name: Always. Could there be a worse name for a feminine hygiene product? Okay, "Nasty" would be worse. Still...

If you have feminine hygiene issues such that you need something to mitigate them always, it's time to see a doctor. In fact, you might want to head to the emergency room. I think it's safe to say, the last thing most people want to think about as never-ending is menstruation. A diamond may be forever but your period should not be.

Second, how about that slogan: Have a happy period.

As if.

As if buying this product could somehow transform the event into a party, complete with a mariachi band, daiquiris and your drunk cousin, Phil, face-planting into the guacamole.

The only time you have a "happy" period is when you're late. Then, let the revelry begin!

Otherwise, there is no such thing as a happy period.

Just ask my husband.

He'll tell you. He gets a period--mine. Okay, he doesn't get the full experience, but certainly enough of the "joy" to make him very glad it's not always.

Perio--

Er, nuff said.