lacochran's bloggery: fool me twice shame on me

26 January 2009

"Now that I've lost everything to you, you say you want to start something new..." --Cat Stevens

For this story, we'll need two names... let's say Hermione and Efrem.

We are buying groceries at the Giant yesterday. Hubby goes to pick up the last item on our list while I queue up on check out #5.

I am minding my business, watching some pre-teen girl flip out because there is a reference to an actor from Twilight on the cover of one of the magazines at the checkout. (Squee!!)

Hermione, a bagger: Miss! Miss. Three's open. Come this way.

There is that weird moment where everybody stops and looks around. Who is the lucky shopper?

Hermione is talking to me.

I maneuver my heavy cart out of #5 and start heading to #3.

Hermione: Right this way.

At this point, a man and woman maneuver their cart in front of me at #3.

Hermione, pointing to me: I'm sorry but this lady is next.

Woman: But he said we were next. *pointing to Efrem*

Efrem is opening the register at #3.

Hermione to Efrem: I told her she was first.

Efrem to Hermione: I told them they were first.

Hermione: Oh.

Me: Great.

Hermione: I'm sorry.

I queue up behind the couple. It's annoying to be told you're next only to be told you're not next but, really, they don't have all that much. Efrem locks and loads and within a minute or two, I am able to start unloading my groceries. Hubby comes back. We have about 15 (of the 40 or so) items on the belt when...

Hermione: Have you already started unloading? Put it back. She can take you on four.

Me: *continuing to unload*

Hermione: Put it back in the cart! She can take you on four.

Me: *continuing to unload* No. I'm not moving again.

Because, Hermione needs to be quiet and go back to bagging. She's well-intentioned but she clearly has no authority and if I've already gotten this much stuff on the belt, it doesn't make sense to switch. But this leads to the question du jour: Are you a line switcher?

And, a snippet from the very funny Sebastian Maniscalco...